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Kiwi Crocus
16 May 2009 @ 09:01 pm
  • 17:08 Girls who speak Spanish? So hot, so hot. As I've just been reminded. Geh I wish I were bilingual! So much so much!
  • 17:11 OK, that was the best scene I've ever seen. And me and McSpleeny have that crying for authority problem. Lulz, this show!
  • 17:13 @createsunspots And you are hot. :P Case in point, complete! And your profile pic is adorableee!
  • 17:19 @craigyd I dunno, Irish accents are pretty hot too. I just think accents = pretty sexy! Most of them. Not, er, some, I've come to find.
  • 18:18 @moebiuscascade Phone me, wench! Or visit me! Not that you'll probably be able to handle the stairs, drunkard. =P
  • 07:32 I'm going to go suffer through lunch before I read my lj flist. I'm hungry. I don't want to revise Living Hell. Hides under pillow.
  • 08:15 @moebiuscascade Lulz at watching Titanic. I haven't seen that in so long. Was good seeing you at lunch!
  • 08:27 @moebiuscascade T'isn't a problem. I kind of wish I had got up and moved to sit with you but my friends would have been all offended. D:
  • 10:07 @createsunspots So agreed. And sending many, many hugs. Will we get to see each other before we're both all schooled up again?
  • 10:08 I'm distracting myself from sadness in life and revision by finishing up my room and listening to music. Then Living Hell revision.
  • 11:46 Avenue Q always makes me feel better about stress and life. And I tend to think, "if life goes too bad, it makes an epic FML story."
  • 11:48 Also, the previous tweet is obviously my opinion of true optimism. "I fit with Avenue Q now" or "This would make a great FML!"
  • 14:05 @createsunspots Hahahaha. Divas adventures. That makes me giggle. Yay for seeing each other! I can't wait for my summer.
  • 15:25 I am feeling sad and lonely. But I'm not looking for the company of my housemates. This is a yucky situation. What to do. Fear revision.
  • 15:51 @moebiuscascade Are you having housemate issues? D:
  • 15:51 I have spent way more time crying today than I ever wanted to. My upper lip is still puffy. Tears haven't ceased, sobbing has. Sigh.
And that's a wrap, folks! Kupokweh!
 
 
Kiwi Crocus
16 May 2009 @ 09:14 pm
Sigh  
[9:13 PM] Aubrey: you are one of the precious few truly genuine and unique people. As such you have a capacity to experience life in a way that very few people will be able to relate to or understand. and depending on the people you are with sometimes it is necessary to realize that you cannot expect more from them then they are capable of giving.


She messaged me after my Facebook status update. I am so thankful. Good gods, I am so thankful for Rowies of the world.

Wednesday's exam went well. My first essay was bad, but it answered the question, so hopefully that's good. The other three were pretty reasonable. Thursday's exam was very good. I got to use the botany knowledge Watsonii gave me.

Thursday and Friday I spent revising with Hayley. It's so nice to be around her. She's cuddly and open and wonderful. Reminds me of other friends. I've had a lot of fun hanging out with her and Mary and that group of friends.

It's the same with Zoë and the 2nd floor girls. I feel a lot like them in a lot of ways.

I love my housemate friends, obviously. Well. I'm having issues with Sass, but that's pretty ongoing. And now there's a lot of Couplyness within the group that I'm not comfortable with yet. And I always get the feeling I'm very different, because in a lot of ways I am, and...

I don't know. I feel disconnected from them. And I'm sure a lot, if not all, of it is Me. But it feels icky. It was nice to hang out with Zoë and Hayley.

Friday's exam went okay. I hope I passed. I answered 37 out of 50, but I'm not confident about all of them. I can't get more than 12 wrong or I'll fail the exam from negative marking. I tried my best.


Yesterday I watched Grey's with Hayley to help her get caught up, and then the season finale by myself. I laughed and laughed, because I never really take the show seriously. It's like the L Word to me. Something to laugh at the dramaz.

Skipped Mojos with the housemate friends. Went to sleep, woke up at noon, lunched, whatever.

It's hitting me hard that I'm not at Ferry Beach. 16 years in a row going to the same stressless retreat during one weekend of the year, and this year am I not only not there, but I'm stressed out of my mind. And it's still not inspiring me to revise. I spent a lot of time in my room with the lights out crying.

It's hard having so many of my friends going home and me not even halfway done with final exams until tomorrow.

I don't want to sit another exam and look at so many questions I don't understand despite revision. I'm not mentally prepared for this. I think next year I'll be able to do this better.

Right now I miss people who understand me and give good hugs and snuggles without thinking about it and are just...My People. And while I love my housemates, they're my close friends, not My People. I miss Rowies and hippiehugs and podling sisters and besties.

It feels like a long way until some stress relief.
 
 
Current Location: Aloneville.
Current Mood: crushedCrushed.
 
 
 
Kiwi Crocus
[10:03 PM] Kiwi: Thank you for being my friend, Aubrey. Big smiles.
[10:21 PM] Aubrey: All my love darling
[10:22 PM] K: And mine back, a lovely exchange of Aubrey and Kiwi flavoured love!
[10:22 PM] A: nom nom nom

Life really does make me happy sometimes.

I took a dance break. Lights out, music on, etc. I always mean to keep my clothes on. Well, usually I do. This time I did. Started with clothing, then "One Week" came on and you just have to take your shirt off for that. Then, for some reason, "I Just Can't Wait to be King" came on and inspired me to take off Hayley's jogging trousers. So now I'm in boxers and a sports bra. Ahhahhah, I was practically always in this back home in the first year of high school!

I really really really need an icon of Callie's underwear dancing. Because I so do it all the time.

I'm revising now. It's slow, it's not perfect, but it's being done.
 
 
Current Location: Yayville!
Current Mood: lovedLoved.
Current Music: Regina Spektor - Oedipus