?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
Kiwi Crocus
28 April 2009 @ 12:23 am
Frak.

So today I woke up before noon, that was well and good. Stayed in bed. Was brought down for lunch time with Juju and Sass. Back up to Sass' room. Juju was off to speak with Alishia. Batgirl was around for an instant between insect sorting.

There was Harry drama and just drama everywhere. Conversation. I don't even know, my mind doesn't grasp it any more.

I came back to my room to try to work and (not surprisingly) failed. Because I always seem to fail. Juju eventually came back and her opinion was completely changed. Alishia wasn't lying about the heart condition--so we're apologising for the doubt. Apparently she's turned herself around a lot.

On staying with us in the house, I'm leaving my vote until I see her in the group again. If I detect the dynamics can be back to normal then I'll vote yes, she's back in the house. If having her around still causes all these schisms and bad feelings every which way (mainly with Matt) or if she can't communicate or she just keeps judging us all the time or all the other problems we had with her before, I'll vote no. So I need to see her come 'round with the group again and then I'll feel out if I personally think she should be in the house. I do like her. Hopefully it'll feel like a yes.

Soon enough it was tea time. I ate salad. It felt good. Back upstairs, more conversation. We missed the rest of the group. Downstairs at the bar I started working but then they decided to leave and sit in Sass' room, so against my better judgement I sat 'round with my non-Internet laptop, finished the work I could do without 'net (very little) and set it down.

Through the evening I wrote 1.2k of my Hermione Bang fic, but that's pretty much useless to me IRL, isn't it?

I looked at the calender and for the first time--I kid you not--realised May 1st is THIS FRIDAY. So my red kite report is due Friday. That stinks. I swear he usually gives us two weekends to get things done. So as soon as I saw that my body went into Stress Mode and then started thinking "and as soon as that's over you have to start revising for your first four exams, and you don't even know how to revise because you've never had exams like this" and then my body went into panic mode so I calmed it because I was around others.

I'm OK right now. This very moment, I'm OK. Last night I had an attack but it wasn't bad, it was more because Sass was very impatient with me and that set me off and then she started pseudo-yelling and I got worse and ran away. But I got the stuff done and then talked Batgirl into doing hers too because she wasn't going to do it and she was going to lose out on 10% of her marks for the module.

Tomorrow - Insect sorting from 10 to whatever time, 30 min lunch break apparently.
Wednesday - I think I've got ecology field work all day.
Thursday - New Forest trip from 10.15 a.m. - around 5 p.m.
Friday - Insect sorting/whatever else from 10 p.m. - don't know.

Report due in at 4 on Friday. I once again feel a bit screwed.

I really need to email the counselling place. I guess I should do that now. Sigh. It seems the only days I'm really, 100% happy these days is when I'm watching Grey's (which I'm not even doing now). How pathetic is that?

P.S. I miss Older Woman figures in my life. I don't have any. I've always had them. There is none now. That freaks me out so much. So so so much.
 
 
Current Location: Frakkedton.
Current Mood: depressedDepressed.
 
 
Kiwi Crocus
28 April 2009 @ 09:04 pm
  • 19:08 @createsunspots My things are never done until I do them last minute. I'm dumb like that. @snoopy874 I loved the new story too!
  • 19:09 @snoopy874 Your workplace is going to be frakking desolate. </3 on Aero. I still need to find a job. When will summer come? =[
  • 19:10 Also, apparently the 1st is Friday. Which means my report is due then. So not another weekend. No free day. Frak. My. Life. Again.
  • 19:40 @snoopy874 I want to be happy. I don't even know what I want to be. And I'm not sure even the first one will work out? Frak depression, man.
  • 19:47 I sent an email to the counselling program people. We'll see how things go, then. I wonder if this will help. My mind is going to explode.
  • 20:01 @snoopy874 I will definitely try to be. I'm sure I'll get to that place. Can't believe in the end I'm paying for exams to get me a degree.
  • 20:01 Sent an email to Grampa & Memere to thank for the water bottle holder. I wish I had better news to give people.
  • 03:36 Apparently my alarm clock turned itself off. I could have slept way past wake-up time. Thank goodness I woke up randomly at 8.30.
  • 03:43 @zapthatmonster I have been doing that a lot lately. It concerns me.
  • 13:44 @hucatherine Where did you go swimming? That's so epic! I wish I had gone swimming.
  • 13:56 For best lesbian kiss I have to choose between a Tibette and Calzone kiss. Noooo! My two beloved crack fandoms! WTF do I doooo?!
  • 15:56 Trying to look at my worrrk, immediate nausea. Stuff like this stinks. A lot. No email back from counselling, looks like I have to go. Frak.
And that's a wrap, folks! Kupokweh!