April 15th, 2009

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

Ripplefish Future

The Introduction to Bellaruth Napastek's Pre-Surgical Guided Imagery just came one. I didn't skip it because it makes me feel calm.

Then I looked around and realised I'm on the couch in the room I was on when I started listening to the CD in preparation for hip replacement. I stayed at my uncle's for a few days during April of 2007, when I came junior year to check out unis. We had planned my hip replacement for right after my junior year.

And I remember it. I cry for joy right now, somehow. I remember I slept on the couch because my parents and brother were sleeping upstairs. I slept on this incredibly long couch (my uncle is as tall as I am short) and listened to the CD.

I sat here and did my insect sheets for Brodeur's ridiculous class that made me laugh. I finished colouring a set of pictures for her class.

But mostly what I remember is writing my paper on Janis Joplin on this couch, due in for Crowley's class. I loved learning for that paper.

Then for a moment the thought "but those were easy" pops into my mind. And I smile now, because yes they were, but I was still afraid of them and procrastinated. It seems it doesn't matter how hard something is, I procrastinate them. Even things I enjoy. Like Janis Joplin.

I need this reassurance. I can do this. I can remember the past, stay in the presence and work towards a mysterious future.

Shaya wrote a beautiful poem in an email to me. I'm still going through my inbox so I haven't replied to her yet, but it is just so wonderful that I want to post it. It won't have the same format it does in her email but I just love it all the same. This is Shaya's poem (but not its title, which I do not know, if it has one).

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  • Current Music
    Guided Imagery - Bellaruth Napastek
Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

Muusak

I love this song.

It makes me feel like I'm doing OK.

Sarah Bettens is a great musician to check out. :]

Also, the song "Another Day at Moses Brown" by David Roth about the Day of Silence? An amazing gem I just found in my iTunes. I hadn't had the chance to go through his music yet since getting the CD.

Music makes me happy.
  • Current Music
    Ink - Ember Swift
Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

Teh Kwii's Kweh

  • 16:58 I love Spamalot. "You won't succeed on Broadway if you don't have any Jews! There simply must be, there simply must be Jews!"
  • 17:00 @snoopy874 What identity crisis? =[. Regardless, hugs for identity crisis and paper writing and stupid conclusions!
  • 17:09 FML! Why am I so frightened all the time?! Nothing's even happening! And my fear is of nothing happening! I'm IN my fear, I can STOP!
  • 17:56 Can I go back to being who I was as a sophomore? Or at least that cool and laid back? Probably just because high school was easy. Frak.
  • 19:49 I will wake up tomorrow to find an empty house, and it will be empty until Sunday late at night when I will be taken back to uni. Depression
  • 20:21 i am going to go sleep now. i am going to try hard not to cry more. i am going to try to wake up tomorrow kiwi again, and not this imposter.
  • 08:09 Ah, laughter. I love Watsonii. Got her little reply at the best time. Smiles. Delightful, delightful, life has hope.
  • 08:56 I am in love with Free Design. Their music makes me tingly, even though it's mainly covers. But maybe because of that.
  • 09:35 At some point I should watch either Empire Records, Harold and Maude or Holy Grail. Wish they worked with the DVD player. They help.
  • 10:05 One of my new theories for not working is that I haven't been drinking tea. The other is that I'm spending time developing theories.
  • 11:19 2006 number of marriages in UK hit lowest since 1895! I think, somehow, we should blame this on the gays. 'cause it'd be funny.
  • 11:47 Study: 3/4 people more afraid of the world over the last decade. Women twice as likely for anxiety, youth more than older. Female youth here
  • 12:47 Stuff like this makes me sad: snipr.com/fyav7
  • 13:13 I realised...I don't really know what to say when my friends talk about buying drugs. Reefer. I knows nothing, save horticultural stuff.
  • 14:32 Wish I had friends to invite over for silly!dancing. 'cause if I'm gonna procrastinate, it should be fun and with friends. But I am working.
  • 15:40 20 minutes to my solitary dance party. I better be awake enough for it. Work is making me tiredtiredtired.
  • 16:00 Ready, set, go! Commence dance break now!
And that's a wrap, folks! Kupokweh!