April 7th, 2009

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.


I thought an update would feel nice. Let's see.

Yesterday was a Travel Day. I hugged Sass off and boarded the coach. Turned on Doom, my iPod. I didn't even reach for my book the whole day. The first ride was only an hour, I loved every minute. Travelling is the only true time I let my mind wander completely freely with no consequences. At least, when I travel solitary. At the station between coaches I started a Travel Haiku and charged Doom with Aspen, my laptop. Got on the next coach and sat next to a teenage glare-happy kissy couple. I didn't mind, they seemed to. Just covered my ears with my green skullcandy and was off for another thought adventure. With a few hours left I took a window seat and put my bag beside me. I wrote a few more travel haiku.

It was drawn to my attention a while ago that people really pay attention to ring fingers for the "marriage thing." I've known this to some degree, of course, but I really only considered it with those upwards of 30. It dawned on me the other day, with the help of my friends, that I'm pretty much at the age where such information becomes pertinent. People do actually start getting married at university time. Also, when I go out with certain outfits, my age is less determinable. It was another one of those "I'm growing up" moments as I looked down at my youthful hand and realised such things as metallic on digits could give an impression of commitment. I moved my plain silver band, bought from my soul Winter visit to Maine, to my right ring finger with the gold fake triple-turquoise ring. I'll see how I feel about it.

The travel haikus will probably go up soon in my writing journal, which I've been organising and updating. It makes me very happy to have somewhere that can take all my writing together. Writerscafe.org is for my sole creations, fanfiction.net for fanfic, etc. I can put anything in my creativity journal.

I loved sitting on the coach with a free mind. I'm pleased to see how much it has slowed down. It doesn't ping all about. I can very steadily follow it, and it pauses to let me smile or chuckle at the thoughts before gently suggesting another string. I'm hoping this is a good track to eventually escaping my panic.

I just thought about life and the like. Got in touch with Malcolm. I was due in at the station at half six, he told me he could pick me up at half seven.

At the station I hunkered down with my stuff and took out Zamba, my ukulele. I thought it was as good a time as ever to practise and having the occasional person walk by would help me get my confidence up. I had a great deal of fun and occasionally paused to think about how fun it would be to go out with friends and just sit around parks playing, singing and talking with smiles and varying conversation. A few fun boys walked by and thought what I was doing was "super cool" so they tossed me some change and smiled, saying of course they were joking, but they thought it was great anyway! I laughed for a good minute and tucked the change in my pocket. I plan to illegally tape them to my journal pages. Malcolm chuckled when he came 'round and told me he hadn't expected me to be busking so soon.

Came home, surfed 'round the Net a while, made some food and enjoyed time downstairs. Came up and slept. This morning I thought I had slept really late but it turns out I woke up at 1. I was very pleased. I've been relaxing in bed since. I do love Travel Days, but it's nice to have a day of stationary rest following one.

I've been looking through some Pagan icons of a community I joined. When I got to the Yuletide ones I couldn't stop smiling and feeling content, seeing snow and candle warmth. Such things remind me how much I truly adore winter. It's cold, yes, and where my roots rest in New England it is frequently very snowy. But I love the contrast--snowy and frozen outside, a tundra of snowflakes and ice; warm and comfortable inside, flickering candles with holiday music, films, colourful decoration and warm drinks. It creates real pockets of warmth and love. Occasional treks outside to enjoy the snowfall, marvel at the soft light of street lamps while shovelling snow out of the driveway. Snowball fights with friends and laughter before journeying back in, stripping off snow-packed snow suits of scarves, hats, mittens and wool socks back into a beautiful land of inner warmth.

Yes, I adore winter. I may be fooling myself when I consider not having a favourite season. I love them all, honestly--there are things I cherish about each, but...yes, I think winter has a sacred place in my heart. Yule/Winter Solstice is probably the closest to my Favourite.

I think all the winter love is also what keeps me considering New England my Heart Home. Everywhere I go is a home, everywhere I am is Home, I am constantly Home...but come October, my heart always smiles to think of waving away brightly-coloured New England leaves and greeting the arrival of the first flutters of snow followed by love-filled huddles and cuddles with my family indoors. (I think now of my mother and remember it is also interspersed with snow battles of epic proportions and a throwing arm that is now known for its accuracy.)

Good Mila, do I love winter. That said, hello Spring and approach of Summer!

(I still sometimes think of them as a set of women in love, each intimate in the time of cusps and then pleased to reign in their time of gentle rule.)

I also smile to know that my default icon is a wintry one. This was supposed to be a short entry! Ah, failed again!
Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

Teh Kwii's Kweh

  • 16:13 My stomach is in major "I hate Kiwi!" mode. May eat Cheerios in front of the TV in a minute. With lappy. Perfect night.
  • 17:37 I am now scarfing down chicken. With sauce. It is nom and goodness and quick eats. Then organising writing and reading and such!
  • 18:22 Dear Kiwi: you have to hold the remote facing the *TV* for it to work, not towards your stomach, you silly techno-funked girl.
  • 18:53 Just remembered that the first time I saw Little Miss Sunshine was with Lindsay/Kleppy. And it made me smile instead of frown this time.
  • 19:14 "Jesus was the hottest Jew on a stick." British Television, sometimes you make me snort. Bad television. Bad PCfeelings, cackle.
  • 19:35 Win on writing clarification in kiwish_beat profile. Also, watching a show involving British homosexuality in the 60's. Interesting.
  • 20:35 I just had a Capri-Sun and it has made me want more. So much more. I get addicted to these things hardcore. Nummy, want mooaaar.
  • 20:56 So, like, all of my family is now friends withe me on FB. Which is cool on one hand. But wicked awkward on another. I'm a candid person...
  • 21:27 Awwwr, Faja/Da just left me a message on FB to tell me it had been a while since he told me how much he loves me and that he loves me! <3
  • 10:14 I really need to find a nice Pagan community around some time. I feel much more grounded when I'm in touch with one.
  • 10:18 I was just invited by a UU friend to join "Gay is most certainly a synonym for stupid." No, apparently "Brandon" is the correct synonym.
  • 10:25 I should shower and do my washing. That would be a productive, good thing to do. Perhaps when it hits 4 or 5.
  • 10:48 I just burned my hands and got really hot water on my crotch while washing my hands. I don't know how I do these epic things. Owe hand.
  • 10:49 @joyitude Very fail. UU is totes supposed to be about love and respect and all. "Gay" = "stupid"? Not really holding up the ideals!
  • 11:11 I adore how RENT music comes on and immediately my volume goes all the way up. Also, ACTUALLY burned my hand! Wicked! Take me or leave me!
  • 11:21 Grrr shoulder-uke bags are too expensive. That will be something for the far-off future then.
  • 12:12 I just sent an email to Duffie with the poem I started senior year and finished, cynically humorous about senior year and the Aggie.
  • 12:12 Frak washing. I'm showering and going comando, back to my writing 'cause I'm totally on a role.
  • 12:42 Yaaay VT! And now time to dress and get back in action. :P.
  • 15:06 I love how I forgot that ljposts had "moods" for like more than a year, and it has just re-dawned on me.
  • 16:00 Apparently Carole King is on this channel at 10? I will have to stay and see! I love Carole King!
And that's a wrap, folks! Kupokweh!