April 1st, 2009

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

Teh Kwii's Kweh

  • 16:34 It's kind of ridiculous how often I forget that long-haired brunette with hazel eyes can be really attractive, just because I am one.
  • 20:56 Cristina had a thong in her locker. Reminds me of when I had a thong in my vest pocket and took it out at work. Didn't know it was there.
  • 21:09 Ahhahhah Callie scene with George in the loo molesting Cris. Lulz. How many times has that happened to me? A lot.
  • 06:33 Awwwr, I was just thinking about how much I miss Gar and she's left me a Facebook wall note! Cute cute cute and fab!
And that's a wrap, folks! Kupokweh!
Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

(no subject)

Sleeping is not working so well. I'm getting into bed when Sarah does, and yes, admittedly I then watch an episode of Grey's Anatomy...but I read and then try to go to sleep soon after. In most places that would allow me to sleep rather well. I set my alarm for 8-and-a-bit hours later. Then I lie in bed tossing and turning, holding my little Rowe CareBear with a sleep mask tucked around my eyes (also a comfort). So I'm a bit annoyed with the lack of sleep and being knackered.

I set my alarm for 11.15. Sarah came in at 11.14 to wake me up, giggles. Had to sit around with Aspen/lappy for a while to wake up. Got up and ready. We walked to the bus stop and used the free bus coupon to Derby and return. Went into down and got wonderful Cadbury egg shakes. Walked around. Derby is a lovely city, quite small.

We went to Nandos. I tried to be good and get a cheap salad. Then the woman asked if I wanted some chicken and olives. I assumed it was for the salad and agreed. The chicken was for the salad and doubled the price; the olives came in a separate cups and was like a side order, one I wasn't actually interested in. So the meal came to far too much for my liking, but I'll know for the future. Simple salad and tap water for me.

I was holding a VERY cheap Suzanne Vega CD in my hands and just had this...feeling. I can never really describe them. I feel them sometimes, not really in my gut or in my mind, sort of a tingly everywhere outside and inside. This feeling that I Know something more than I consciously know, that tucked in corners of my mind I have more knowledge than I can directly access yet another part of my conscious at least knows it's there. So a sort of subconscious beep into my conscious to tell me, "Hey, we've got this handled, listen up!" And this feeling was a positive one, I felt as though I recognised the name somewhere in my mind but couldn't distinctly remember it, but knew the connection was exceedingly positive. So finally I decided to go with it.

When I explained the feeling to Sarah she used her really judgemental voice on me. That hurt. But she wasn't listening to me when I was a bit caustic in return and I recognised I was just being petty anyway, so I let it go and took a breath. I wondered if the reason I was so sensitive to her judgemental tone because I judge people for being judgemental, which again is ridiculous to me. Yet seems terribly true. I sighed and knew it's because I try to be so non-judgemental, and the irony is I then judge people who aren't. Plus being judged in hurt just generally hurts! So when Sarah uses her harsh judgemental "okaaay" on me, it just plain hurts. So I definitely need to stop taking that as a judgement on my person, stop taking it as slander against my ego--take a breath and step out of identity completely, until her words are just words and not loaded attempts. Because even if they are meant that way from HER, taking them that way and allowing it to cloud myself doesn't help, either.

We went to the charity shops. I was looking for a spring jacket--something I can wear every day with my outfits without it feeling like I'm wearing the same hoodie every day or something, that wasn't a coat. Not something as hot as the winter coat I have. At the first store I found a wonderful brown jacket for five quid and knew it was right. Then I was set. Accidentally left my blue cardigan in there and after a second Charity Shop stop and back to the bus stop, we had to go retrieve it. Then we were back to the bus stop.

Back here, on the 'net for a while, bit of uke and tea with Sass. She bought Wanted 'cause it's such a crap film, so now we're watching it together.

I also looked up Suzanne Vega as I was importing the CD. She IS the one who did Tom's Diner, a song I adore. And she's so much cooler than that, too. With activism and quotes and making an album for all the covers people did of one song and the type of songs she writes and all this stuff. She's epic. I am so glad I bought the CD.