November 9th, 2008

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

Gremlin I Is

I hit 25,000 words today. So incredibly thrilled to have reached NaNoWriMo's half-way point 8 days into the month.

I didn't get much work done. I tried to, but it's really annoying because technically speaking though I DO have work, it's all very far off and needs to be organized with other people. It's mainly about exams here so coursework doesn't come about all that much, especially given I'm an ecology major. It's all sort of projects due in at the end and exams.

So for Chem there's basically no coursework, and I had a midterm last week so I'm all revised up. Plant I have to work on the practical writeups to pass in at the end of term but the professor still hasn't put up how we do those. Exploiters I have to start working on my paper due in December. Environment in Practice we have some data due by the 25th and I'm meeting with Emma in the library on Tuesday after plant; then I have some work to do on the invertebrate report due the beginning of December but we don't have the data for that until this week; also work on my presentation but have to hook up with Jack and Arun for that, although I'll start looking into biomass before that; The Living Cell is basically just all about notes, because as far as I've seen no course work, just insane exams.

So a lot of it is just wait, or go places and do things, which doesn't work so well for me on weekends. Still getting the hang of things and how things are written. Think it will feel easier after I get my Chilterns Assessment back and see how my first passed-in piece of writing went down. But other than that the things I have to work on in my room are exploiters notes to just type things up, read through things, and take uncounted assessments, and then Living Cell which is just really boring note writeups from Blackboard, just like Exploiters.

I guess I'll start looking into journal entries for stuff and just make a big list of everything I have to do for every course with due dates. Sounds good for tomorrow. It's been a lovely weekend though.

Started a ghost story that is really silly/strange but scary, and it's about to turn a whole lot scarier. Entertained people out in the corridor. Pirate Steve fed me white chocolate. More amusing people. I drew three pictures today.


Tomorrow shower and work day.
Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

Teh Kwii's Kweh

  • 08:02 I need to do my washing. I refuse to do it as long as the lift is broken. Shakes fist. Shower time, sigh.

And that's a wrap, folks! Kupokweh!
Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.


So last night I started the ghost story. I finished it today. 8 pages, 5 thousand something words, not much. What was going to be an incredibly scary story turned into just a strange sort of appreciation to 6th floor Windsor people.

So instead I'm frightened of my own mind. It reminds me of how these beautifully dark people, lets say Gothic, can find beauty in the darkest of places--how I can look at one of Lora's dark paintings and see beauty with powerfully loving messages, which she put in them. It's sort of like that. I wrote a scary and gory story that holds within my thanks for the people I'm living with. I think Lora will appreciate it. I don't think the others would necessarily understand.

I've just had a strange feeling all day.

I wonder why I don't feel homesick. Everyone talks about the homesick feelings of going away to college for the first time. People ask, "Well, having you talked to your parents?" and I mention email and stuff. They act really surprised. They ask how I can do it and it shocks them when I say, "But I'm going to see them at Christmas!"

Is my sense of time just strange? Why don't I miss people? I think of others fondly, smile, remember them, and move on. It's not this yearning to be around them, which I have been told missing feels like. I don't get that.

I look around my room with my stuff, feel myself where I am, and I just feel Whole. I know I have family and loved ones other places and that I can speak communicate with them from here, but might not see them for a while; it doesn't bother me or take away any of my feeling of Wholeness. It doesn't make me sad or miss anyone.

I feel sort of odd for this given that I haven't found anyone who describes any similar feelings. They've all grown used to my being strange--meditating nearly every day in the dark, my strange antics, the way I talk about thoughts and emotions and the world.

Hmm. I'm going to stop thinking.

Time to clean and be a good little Kiwi!

(All the writing also makes me wonder sometimes why I didn't go into writing, but I still realize that's not where I want to be. I'm so happy to have it be something that has nothing to do with grades or evaluation. It's my heart and I don't want it out and open to everyone--I want to pick and choose whom it goes to!)