My habit of sleeping too much when I'm nervous is a bad one. It makes whatever I'm nervous about come faster and takes away the time that I could be calming myself and convincing myself that I will be OK. By creative thought.
My other nervous habit of sleeping too little (obviously one or the other) is just as stupid, for I'm always tired for when the event comes. I hope that does not happen tonight and that I will be able to sleep. And stop looking at my old chemistry teacher's picture going, "Ohhhh frakfrakfrak, can I DO this? That class was nothing and this will be hard!"
Also, my schedule is not fair.
I have class all five days (most people have one day off) and four days out of five 9 a.m. classes. The fifth is 2 p.m. - 6 p.m. Aaaaand my non-9-a.m.-day does not align with Sarah's, which is Tuesday! Ohhhh woe is me. Giggle.
I skipped lunch today because Alicia and Lora knocked on my door right before Alicia went down and I was, predictably, asleep. I decided to say screw it, I'm not awake enough to eat, the food is not inspiring, and I'm going to have go get food tonight which is annoying. I have to take a shower because it has been too long.
I'm going to try to get myself into an easy mood today. Hope I can keep being creative. Maybe draw out some emotions, because I haven't drawn in a very long time. Lora and Mary got themselves to draw yesterday and I couldn't. Sigh. Couldn't create any new writing, either, but I did edit a piece and write that parody song.
Off with me now.
I don't understand how come you're gone, man. I don't understand why half the world is still crying, man, when the other half of the world is still crying too, man, I can't get it together.
I mean, if you got a cat for one day, man — I mean, if you, say, say, if you want a cat for 365 days, right — You ain't got him for 365 days, you got him for one day, man. Well I tell you that one day, man, better be your life, man. Because, you know, you can say, oh man, you can cry about the other 364, man, but you're gonna lose that one day, man, and that's all you've got. You gotta call that love, man. That's what it is, man.
If you got it today you don't want it tomorrow, man, 'cause you don't need it, 'cause as a matter of fact, as we discovered in the train, tomorrow never happens, man.
It's all the same fucking day, man.
I wake up for class tomorrow for the first time in five months.
Frak frak frakkkkk I can't do this.
I'm also on the first day of my moon, and my cramps are killing me but I don't want to take pain killer because I hate doing that and I'm stupid.
I'll unplug myself soon and go write some more of my high school novel and make sure I get a good 7 hours because then I'll feel good. I hope.
Sarah and Lora are making me go to brekky at 8. WTFery? So early! Up at 7.30 for me.
Thankfully only one class tomorrow, chemistry lecture, and it'll be a small dose of university.
But it will also kill me. So hopefully Lora will revive me after it's through.