September 8th, 2008

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

A longish One

So this weekend has been hectic. Friday I did the work thing and then whatever else I did but unfortunately my memory is utter crap sooooo moving on!

Saturday morning was the picnic. I woke up and was a cranktastic crankfest. Mum was confused, because normally congregational stuff = SUPER PEPPY KIWI! And I wasn't. I was also in pain.

But I got out and cheered up. Got to meet a few new people. Not many people showed up out of worry for the weather. I cemented plans with Carol (who came up and no one could tell if she was caroling me or I was caroling her. Caroling in my congregation = having Carol ask someone to do something and the certain inability most of us have to say no). Also with Joni, Karen, and Michael. Got a fake tattoo. Mum too, but she put hers on upside down and did the second one wrong. Silly.

Pantaxi canceled on us by TEXT when I was at the picnic. I cried. I was thinking, who picks a guy one is dating and sees frequently over seeing a friend who is leaving the country? So, as one might imagined, I was miffed. Crying and angry. She didn't pick up the phone.

Went home, Internet, napped.

Laura called and was running late. I hung around home and had a good time. Felt great. Drove to her house with the windows down and the balloons in the back escaped but got caught so I pulled over and fixed them in the windows so I was my own parade. Reminded me of senior parade and senior breakfast and how I didn't show any school spirit but didn't care and still don't. Ah! Pleasant, grin.

We hung around chatting. She was on the phone with Antoinette for a while and that was great. It was decided I would stay over. We burned Laura's pictures onto two DVD data discs so I can now make copies for Makuchan too. Laura and I watched a weird 80s movie and I was online a bit but not talking to anyone.

We talked some more. She gave me some of her college rejects stuff. Let me wear PJ pants and we had a in-case-of-bleeding-emergency discussion. I went to sleep downstairs. Couldn't even get through my nightly songs, fell asleep after "History Through a Song."

Woke up, snoozed, splashed my face. Had little bleeding emergency. Laura gave pants. I took off. Drove to church.

I cried a lot. "Return Again" from the new edition really hit me the first time, and when we sang it a second time after water communion I cried hardcore. Gar leaned on me and it was nice. I cried when I went up to put in my water (which Mum had given me in a FUSF cup--I kissed the chalice before I dumped the water). Carol hugged me up stage. I saw Lisa and Sharon (bosses) but did not acknowledge them and pretended they weren't there. Bad Kiwi. At least they saw me crying and loved and affected by leaving. Somehow that helps me.

The children story was about transformation and letting go for change and rainbows and people were like, "Wow, it was made for you Kiwi." People hadn't expected me to be there. Jill (ministerial intern) told me if she had known I would be she would have had me be the stream instead of Ann. I smiled. I went around with Gar and Steven. Decided to form the "Youth Committee of Tackling Adults" and we nominated Claire as our first victim so we went around doing that. Then formed a line to hug Michelle for condolence to Tom's run-over violin.

Lisa and Sharon started talking to me and it was very Blech because I wanted to be saying goodbye to my church family who had been there for me through thick and thin, and they were my bosses ranting about life and work and to be honest I didn't care at all. Bobbi came up and saved me. I later discovered from Mum and her that she had come directly to save me 'cause Mum had told her I didn't want to be speaking with Lisa and Sharon on my last day in service.

It was hard saying goodbye to everyone. Even the ones I knew I had meetings set up with and all.

I let Peg (old woman) borrow my cell phone to call home. She was so concerned when no one picked up twice. I offered to drive her home and it was incredible how touched she was. Her son ended up arriving anyway. I drove Dweeb home instead. Grabbed directions, headed off to Borderland park. Got lost off on 106, saw a RealEstate place and thought, "they can help." The man got me whole new directions by looking up the map.

I got there just fine, just in time to see Shaya being the Crowd. Was proud I knew exactly what she and Aubrey were doing. I met her mentor Carole and Carole's partner and her partner's child (I assume--it wasn't actually talked about). Hung around in the shade with Opal (doooogie) and Kim and Aubrey. It was loads of fun. Saw Shaya and Tom win best trick. Had caught on to the fact that Tom was supposed to grab One Tissue when Shaya "sneezed" but he was overexcited and kept grabbing the whole box. Although, if I wanted the trick for IRL use, I would prefer the whole box! Grins. Played around. Watched her from a far for best mutt. She won third. Close up for Musical Attire as I considered it--have the dog bum it on a T-Shirt and not on a chair. She won third with that too. An aggressive lab-and-owner pair booted Tom off their T-Shirt.

Then followed them for ice cream. I got watermelon sherbert with sprite. Shakes fist at Mr. Crowley's change in my life. Had fun.

Played I Like Giants as I followed them from the Ice Cream place. Drove home. Instead of taking a nap I got a bit done.

Senior youth was so wonderful. I didn't do much because I wasn't a Real senior youth, so I tried to stay in background for work except clean up but I was loud with friends. Was struck with how connected I am with Gar, Arah, and Penny. We can have conversations without talking. Be silly in the same way. Know exactly what is going on with each other. It's not something I found outside of church, really. Not at the Aggie, with maybe two or three exceptions. It seems rare yet I have so much of it in one place. It's such a community, senior youth, and now I'm not part of it anymore. It's sad. My two rules (no swearing except when using "poetic vulgarity" and then "no harshing mellows") are still there. Everyone wondered what they'd do without me. I'm the only senior who graduated and was actually active in the group. I was leader and all that.

Gonna miss it. Hope I find friends like that in England and else where. I really want to connect. Be silly, be serious, be silent, be loud. I'm frightened I won't find these connections else where and beyond youth. I know it isn't true, but the fear is still present.

Gar gave me a beautiful card. I may type up what it says later. I cried (duh). Drove home. Showered, cleaned a little, online, making a post so Shaya doesn't see the X one anymore, even if it still weighs on my heart (sorry!).

I'm really frightened. I'm leaving so much for uni. I'm also so excited. Brralkej;oijgawef. Yes, obviously articulate too.

Had a few realizations that I don't feel like putting in this anyway.

Scamp -- Don't know if you got down this far, or maybe you'll catch your name, but I haz (giggle) a request! Perhaps you might tutor me in English--lulz, spoken around-the-town English--and cure me of some of my American jargon when I hop the puddle and arrive? Could just be a fun and silly thing! Haha. Just the sorts of things I should know.
Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

Before Work Entry

I hate how after a really amazing weekend going back to work is even more crap than usual.

Especially after seeing them at church yesterday.

I got 8 hours of sleep and I'm still tired. If I were getting up for something better I probably wouldn't be.

I just have to get through 5 hours so I can come home and maybe take a nap but probably not. Hopefully my trunk will be here. Continue organizing and other stuff.

Have to go to sleep early tonight because I'm working 9-2 tomorrow instead, then ice cream with Carol the minister. Yay!

Tuesday = ice cream with Carol.
Wednesday = lunch with Karen and Sonya.
Thursday = Aggie with Shaya.
Friday = Dinner with Joni, pick up Arah for sleepover.
Saturday = Over to Michael's for washing dogs and random fun. Hopefully with Arah, Gar, and Penny.
Sunday = I don't know, possible trip to BSC. Hopefully hanging with Dana.

That's my week. I can't believe how tired I am. If I'm just starting to show symptoms of mono, or something, I will not be a happy camper.
Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

Teh Kwii's Kweh

  • 22:28 @thinkingxbeing What did you set on fire? I'm intrigued! And I miss you! Are you coming home for winter hols?
  • 00:33 I wish I were a Twilight vampire if only for not having to sleep. And maybe for some dazzle. But mainly for no sleep, and productivity.
  • 09:51 It isn't fair that going to work is so much harder after a really amazing weekend. Also, why am I tired after 8 hours sleep? Not fair.
  • 13:32 I just spent forever on hold twice with BCBS to be told that there's a new rule as of Sept. 1 that kept me from being helped.
  • 13:38 Lisa: "She's kick butt. And we're losing her!" I wish the feeling was mutual, but hey, 10 days yesss!
  • 14:23 Pretty much a half an hour left. Yay!
  • 14:57 Off I go!
And that's a wrap, folks! Kupokweh!
Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.


My trunk came! The rainbow tie-dye one! I'm so happyyyy!

I opened it right up and totally disregarded that I had just done my nails going through my makeup. I should give up on doing my nails. I can never stop doing things long enough to let them dry.

It has the little organizer thing and a box that I assume the space bags are in. Found the wheel bag and put the wheels on the little bar to test it out. Eiii!

It has a little blemish on the top that I won't let Mum catch. I think it adds character. She'd flip a gasket. I'm not picky--it's here, it's mine, it's perfect little dent and all! I keep looking at it.

It needs a name too. Time to go finish going through makeup and get on to my trunk surface so I can empty that out, work on my lock again, and replace Memere's old huge black trunk with mine!

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

A Few Accomplishments

I was proud of myself today for getting a little done, but in hindsight it wasn't much at all.

- I emailed people that I needed to email.
- I wrote and sent a comment to the Globe about a really great article Mrs. Czyrklis indirectly sent me to about the change in student/teacher relationship after one or both leave the school.
- Organized through my makeup so 2/3 of my morning drawers are cleaned through.
- Cleaned through my old trunk, put it up in the attic, and put the new one where it belongs. It match my room like whoa and is shorter and fun.
- Heard all about things that make me happy.
- Went through all old Rowe stuff and was insanely happy.

I may type up the beautiful Rowe stuff to have on computer at all times. I was told how colorful, beautiful, strong, spunky, confident, etc. I was. It's nice to hear and remember. The "confident" always threw me off. Everyone there thought I was so confident! By the way I wore exactly what I wanted and loved it, talked to everyone even when I was new, talked softly but passionately without creating arguments... I don't know. But it was so sweet to see it in writing. I love that I saved all that. Some of my most treasured possessions.

I also found a little green Buddha stone pendant. It makes me happy.

Have to sleep early tonight so I can wake up an hour earlier tomorrow night.
I want to go through my bookshelves.

Waves, night night.
Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

Places I'll Go

I'm going through my bookshelf. I just hit "Oh The Places You'll Go" by dear Dr. Suess.

So I read it out loud to myself. First time since I graduated.

It filled me with hope. It was calling to me tonight. One of the pages is even that I'll get mixed up with "strange birds." Other strange birds. That I will. Hopefully I'll spin it positive!

That book, The Contented Little Pussy Cat, and Where the Wild Things Are sum up my childhood and life.

And they were my three faves, too.

When I get to the other I'll read it. Need to find Wild. They're flat. Who knows, maybe I'll take 'em.