July 29th, 2008

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

Long Day

I snoozed a lot in the morning. At work I didn't get to a task Sharon wanted me to do, so I felt a bit bad about that, but when I'm out of work I'm OUT. ...at least today. I had plans. I said I was leaving at three, I was a goner. She knew the other task she had given me was time-consuming.

Got home, got really dressed and ready, picked up Pantaxi. We went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond or whatever and shopped around. We stalked Laura until we turned around when we saw her car drive by and went back to her house. Picked her up.

We ate Chinese buffet at Yen Ching or whatever. It was good. $14 was definitely splurging for me.

Off to Target we wandered around loads and it was fab. I picked up a folding hamper/laundry bag set that would fit into a suitcase for $9 which I thought was good. There are some sheets there that will fit my duvet covers well, but I have to find out if I got sheets already or not.

Really considering buying that trunk online.

We went to a different Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Might buy real skullcap headphones because they had them there for $20 when normally it's like $70 at FYE or whatever and I need some good headphones especially when that'll be a big thing for me in uni.

We went to TJMaxx and were just browsing through purses/bags (they're both bag fans, and I'm Cheap Bag Fan usually, preferably free). Pantaxi was saying, "And don't worry about money, Kiwi, I'll totally pay half if you want." And then we stumbled upon It. It being The Perfect Kiwi Bag in the World. It's brown, it already HAD hippie pins on it ("Save Water, Shower With a Friend" "Make Snow Not War" "Sexy Lady" "Let the Sun Shine in Boston," etc), it has two naked ladies with a rainbow arching above them saying "Twice As Nice", the bag has like an American-color hot-dog with the stars and all("hot stuff"), it's very roomy (most of us know Kiwi bags...), and it even has a RAIN LAYER that closes over the top for when it's raining. And it has a secret compartment in the front that no one but an extraordinarily weird person would put there, and thus I found it right away because I'm strange like that. So we all put in and got it for me. =).

Brittney and Amanda invited us out to dinner at Friendly's so we went to Borders as we waited. We made it to Friendly's and I saw a woman from Maine but didn't make any comment. Jess B. like flipped out when she saw us all because they hadn't told her we were coming.

We had a great time of that. I drove Pantaxi home and we helped her unload the car--she bought loads since she had been procrastinating and had bought nothing for her dorm--and then dropped Laura off. We talked about Scary Life and how we'll be adults soon enough, and Summer won't be our Summer anymore--it'll be another time to work. Which is mad scary even as we're both working through this summer, it's just different. We like...know they're summer jobs. Taht they end at the end of the summer, or at least they're not our main focus anymore. So it's weird and all. Helped her carry her stuff in.

Back home and I'm tired. Only one email to reply to, so I'll let myself put that off until tomorrow.

Invited to see Mama Mia tomorrow at 7:40 so that's exciting too. Hopefully I won't be chewed out at work tomorrow. Whatever. I tried! Posting payments is annoying and sometimes hard!

I've been out of the house for like 14 hours. That's pretty impressive.
Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

Wasted Excitement

So I was excited today. I got out of work and cleaned a little. Picked up Da at the train, brought him home, and then I drove him to tennis. Drove straight to the movies.

I tried to call Laura but my phone wasn't working. I turned it off and tried to turn it on. It wouldn't. I took off the battery and put it back on, then turned the phone on. I called Laura. Her phone was off, which I thought was odd. Then my phone blared at me, oh, btw, you have two voice messages and a text!

I looked at the text first and groaned to see it from Laura at 6:11 that the movie was actually at 7:05 and not at 7:40 as Brittney and Amanda had said. So I was there, at the movies, and it was too late because my phone was so horrible and stupid. As it always is. There was also a voice message from Laura hoping I got the text and a voice message from Da asking if I was picking him up.

I detest my phone.

I was really down. I realized how much I had been excited for the event to know that it would keep me from home and my mind off the Cavcreature. It's still plaguing me. She emailed me again today.

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Anyway, I looked through my phone at all the people. Tried to call Brad since I was in the area but there was no answer anywhere and I had the hunch I had the wrong numbers. I drove to his house instead. Only his Da was home. Brad is in Alaska living like a trooper. So I talked to his Da and we joked. Talked about life.

It was nice. I spent a lot of time with those two summer after 8th grade when I had a freshly fractured hip and my life had changed far more than I had ever wanted it to. When I wouldn't take off those mirrored sunglasses.

It felt peaceful. I saw a frog on the way out and kneeled to watch it. Heard a story about Brad's sister with the frogs.

I left thinking about change and goodbyes. It's always goodbyes. I'm OK with that. It was sad, but it felt right. We've had changes before but for the lot of us, we always knew this was the biggest one we'd face together. The one that split us up.

So I got home and was online, cleaned up more. No laundry on my floor. Still haven't replied.

She doesn't even know I leave in late September. Almost everyone else I know knows that. How far we grew that she didn't know.

Sigh. I still wonder how this can hurt my heart so much. But given how much she healed my heart through high school, I suppose I can't be surprised.

Gods I love her. It's so difficult to not be pleased with her. Especially since this isn't a peer friendship (duh, Kiwi, it's not a friendship by semantics)--she's the Adult.

But I'm an Adult now, aren't I? And what's an Adult? She's treated me like an Adult since I was 15. I'm just feeling cynical now, but Adulthood only seems like Glorified childhood with a few different perks.

I need a new phone. I need to get over to England and start my new life. I need to stop being a whiny teenager. I need to start writing again. I need to stop annoying my friends of all ages. I need to stop bumming around near my computer.

I guess it's sleep-time now. Kiwi disappeared again. Don't know who's here, but it ain't her. Leave a message and maybe I'll be kind enough to give it to her. She's probably run off to be eccentric with nature in her Center. Maybe if I do that I'll meet up with her again, and bring her back hand-in-hand.

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