July 7th, 2008

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

Welcome home, Kiwi

Yeah, what a home coming. I was really excited and happy. I had sung on the way home, danced around while taking the stuff out of the car, whatever.

Was dipping online to catch up before unpacking and cleaning.

Lisa called at 1 p.m., apparently, thinking I was going into work.

Now, mind, it's my fault--I only mentioned that I wasn't coming in today to Kathy, when Lisa had been the one asking all week. And instead of checking in with her I checked in with Kathy, and it wasn't even in a way that she would probably remember.

So I called and things are sorted out but I went and was too honest and said that I had been stuck at the beach and my phone is a useless piece of crap. So she knows that while she was worrying about me and STOPPING BY MY HOUSE to talk to my grandmother with the pug, I was in Maine. At the beach. Because my mother had canceled her tennis match at home.

My spirits have sunk. I feel like throwing up.

Yes, this is well deserved, but of course this stinks. I can tell Sharon and Lisa are not pleased at all. I know they're covering it up with forgiveness, because I called and apologized and took responsibility, but I know they're raging inside. I could hear Sharon's tone even as she was trying to hide it.

And I have to face Kit tomorrow. And I can only imagine they're going to decide that I never mentioned it to Kit. Which I would understand, because I really didn't write it down or make it an important message as I should have. I made more of a fuss about getting my Zoe Lewis CD back for the trip up.

I know everything is going to be OK and that even if it ISN'T OK it's still OK, but...

Geh. No matter what I know in my head, it never stops me from feeling, does it?

Guilty gut. Conflict stomach. Nauseous. Sigh.

I really hate being this sensitive.

Cried an hour after getting home. It's all just too wonderful.

On the plus side, I got the Gutterflower Goo Goo Dolls CD in the mail. So once again the Goo Goo Dolls will come to my rescue.

I'm going to go back to catching up online, then get into cleaning and crying and dancing around and organizing my altar to organize my head and self.

Sigh again.
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