June 18th, 2008

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

June 17th

I woke up at 8:10 reasonably peacefully. Hopped in the shower and enjoyed waking up. Went down to wake up Toast. Mum started getting on me. All we do is tiff lately. So I did the cleaning for her in what was supposed to be my peaceful wakeup hour because supposedly a woman was coming to pick stuff up, but it turned out Mum hadn't even called her yet and then the woman was coming Thursday. I was a tad miffed.

Drove Toast to Dunkies. Drove to work. Had an alright time. The work isn't terrible even if it's maddening sometimes. Music is good. Deb constantly talks and says "ei yie yie" even when absolutely nothing has happened, or whenever she finishes a thought, or I guess when she needs to hear her own voice. Kathy is still really funny and fun to be around, save for when someone makes a mistake. I really think she needs to learn that sugar can go a whole lot farther than spice with many people, because I know I definitely just get way more nervous and prone to mistakes after the way she talks to me when if she just spoke to me with respect and had the idea that I was competent we would all be better off.

Zoomed and picked up Toast. Zoomed and picked up Shayak (Shaya, with an extra letter, as witnessed). Dropped Toast off. Remember to pick her up tomorrow morning and bring her to work.

Home with Shayak (I have the horrible temptation to call her Yak now). Playing around with dogs, siblings, and mothers. Amusing conversations involving pronouns. Dart playing. Story telling sessions. Lots of talk of teachers.

It was quite pleasant. I enjoyed it. Gave her two of my journals to read. Her Mum picked her up. Her dog is very small now that he has been shaved.

Drove Dweeb to his tennis thing. Home for cleaning. Made Da's belated Father's Day present. Beatles Poster. Set it up in his bed as if it was wearing his track suit with the legs folded and it carrying a lesbian erotica book. Put on the silly English woman hat and the exclamation cap. I wrote up a cute card with Beatles references and stuck it in the trousers so it looked like an erection. I'm so glad my family enjoys my twisted, sick, perverted, weird sense of humor.

Talked with Fraserbeing online. We joked. Talked about goldfish passing gas because we are strange creatures.

Made the mistake of reading through all the pre- and post-hip replacement Mrs. Cavanagh creatures. She is truly too kindhearted for anyone's good (but I lie). It is for people's good. It just hurts like frak, and I'm the one causing the pain. Some time I'll be able to email her. I have this selfish wish/desire/yearning that she'll up and email me first out of the blues.

What more does she have to do for me to understand that she really does still care? She has waved and given me a gift and winked and smiled and been generally, authentically nice. But I understand why it would mean so much to get an email from her.

That was how it all started between us, that day in April. And that was the last important thing between us that she stopped for her own comfort. I don't know if I'll ever feel fully complete with the fact that she actually wants me in her life until I get an email from her, and I'm not sure the feeling of completeness will be there as much if I email her first.

I'll have to think and feel around the issue.

For now I have to go be a little bit more productive so that I don't get clobbered tomorrow by mother. Especially since Pashi wants me going into Boston for a show at Passims.

P.S. Today at work I randomly went outside and ran a few laps and it was funny and wonderful.