June 11th, 2008

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

Premature Packing

Nana has been in hospital for a few weeks now and is no longer getting up.

Da is leaving for England at four in the morning tomorrow.

I have to fill one of his suitcases with my stuff so that it can stay over in England and I can get it before I go to uni. This is helpful.

Mum is also trying to help, but it's aggravating. No I'm not in a good mood when it comes to packing. I'm especially not in a good mood when I'm packing for a long period for a stay that is such a long time, knowing that I'll be creating a new home for myself and I have to pick and choose. It's stressful and scary.

She always gets super stressed when she's packing. She gets grouchy. So when she tells me, "Don't be like this" and I say, "Like what, Mom? You're always like this when you pack," and she replies, "I know" it's fine. But not when she goes on to try to get me to change how I'm feeling and then denies it when I directly quote her, saying no, that wasn't what she said.

I know she's trying. I know we're all trying. But trying to force my spirits up when I'm down is not a smart idea. It makes me angry. Anger does not lift my spirits. If anything, it would be best to make no statement and wait for my spirits to rise on their own, because they will, and faster.

Now I have to decide what I'm sending. Bedding? My prayer shawl? A hat and shoes?

I don't know. I'll figure out something. Right now all I want to do is wash my hair because my scalp is itchy beyond belief.