"You may want to take it easy today so you can integrate recent breakthroughs. But you probably won't get the rest you seek, even if your morning starts off slowly. You could be your own worst enemy as you wrestle with emotional ghosts from your past. If you can put a difficult memory into proper perspective, you can untie yourself from an unrewarding emotional pattern, giving you the chance to truly enjoy yourself."
Yeah, that'd basically be me.
(And I have a really cool shirt 'cause Toast gave me an old shirt of Jason's that was big, so I cut it up the sides and made the slits and tied them together and it actually WORKED so there was much rejoicing. Cut off the sleeves and it's comfy. Nice green/yellow/velvety plant-leaf design. Very Celtic. I don't think it's ugly!)
And back to productivity before reading and sleep.
Woke up in incredible pain due to cramps. Put on two pairs of underwear and a night-time pad after my shower. Computered when I shouldn't have. Scarfed down a breakfast.
Work was less death-inducing than before. I decided this morning that even if my job sucks and I hate it, I was still going to work hard to make the best of it and find some enjoyment. So I made people laugh and got into music and made sure I got up from time to time and, even though it went against my nature, took moments to just breathe every once in a while. Plus I multiplied my 5 hour shift by two to get the number of half-hours, and then made fractions out of 10, and I was especially happy when they were even and I got to reduce, ESPECIALLY when I hit 1/2 or more. And I kept a running count of the money I was counting each time my half hour mark went up. Which yes, is ridiculous, but we need to do what we can to stay sane, huh?
Kathy was really great most of the time. Sharon makes me laugh. Lisa was nice. Loved the dogs (as always). If only Lisa didn't go on about how GREAT I am all day...then maybe I would find it possible to say, "Hey, I really don't like it here!" But I'm really quite good at hiding my displeasure sometimes, so I don't think she even notices I have many moments that I just want to shove my head through the monitor.
I got out eventually, of course. And she bought the Blackberry back from me. Gave Sharon back some lesbian erotica she had lent me forever ago. Did claims all day.
After work I went home and planned to go get Erin's bike and Ann's signature. Drove to Connie and Joyce's and picked up the bike. Their little condo is great. Made me mis Erin, of course. Hope she's doing well in North Carolina. They gave me a helmet and pump, too. And agreed that I am about the least likely/worst person to have working in an Office, despite my Skills with it. "Our poor free bird!" they said. Free-souled. Grin.
Went to Ann's and her dog Kiya is fabulous. 11-month old standard poodle who just wants to constantly play. Always funny seeing a minister in her own home, in her own home environment.
Came home and ate tacos with the family. Then went for a bike ride. Planned to go with my brother, but that didn't work since his bike was at Chris's, so we basically ended up going on separate bike rides. Saw Toast when she and Jason drove by on the way to CVS.
Got home and died on the yard. Joked with Mum and Xandor. Came up and here I am.
Have to go to the Aggie tomorrow morning to get a signature from Ms. Watsonii and then pass in the slip to Quinny. Sigh. Better up and productive, I guess.
Wonder if I'll ride my bike to Lisa's tomorrow.
Still need to check with the greenhouse place.
KP prom tomorrow and only three hours of death/work.
Don't forget to go to Hitomi's house on Tuesday the 3rd for some amazing hanging out time. I know you would never intentionally forget, but I also understand that death/work is not good for your memory and you walk in merely pleased to be breathing in the summer air and not thinking beyond that.