I feel kinda sick in the stomach right now and that's not cool.
Got up, showered, car problems, got gas, got to school, stayed outside with Bri cursing Quinny and waiting for her to come open the door, printed my paper, studied bio through Spanish.
Took bio test and worked on worksheet in Pre-Calc wearing beaver slippers again. New tradition?
Hopped around in front of Makuchan and Fraser saw me I guess and squealed, "I love you Kiwi!" and I laughed. Makuchan was just watching my chest bounce. Had lunch with her and joked with Mrs. Steele and life was good.
Back in AmLit, not enough English getting done, got paper assignments, ripped up Honor Roll sheets, fun.
Study read and talked to Renae and went to plant science for boots and joked with Mertz and Abbi. Gave my headband to Renae. Want to be a "giver."
Plant science Watsonii had me write something up for the newspaper or something. I then helped her fix up her grammar and I think she appreciated it.
Lost my Garden class and started singing in the hallway, "Where oh where could my little class be, oh where oh where could they be?" and Mr. Lee joined in. He always gives me peculiar smiles that make me think that behind his eyes he's thinking, "She's going to amount to something great, she really is" and I sort of involuntarily shiver. Because I think he actually believes I'll be like the next Rachel Carson, as do Watsonii and Mrs. Shipley and a few others, and that's just not gonna happen!
Helped change geranium pots. Ate ice cream that Nelson went out and bought. Sat and listened.
Drove to the doctors through bad traffic. Was a good girl. Did paperwork. I am proud to be 4' 10 3/4" Joyful. Told I'm overweight, no shocker. Had to get vaccinations. Opted into getting a cholesterol test.
Young nurse came in to prick my finger and she was really nervous. Put things together wrong the first time. I just smiled at her reassuringly and told her I'm an old pro at this after hip replacement. I got the regular shocked reaction, which is good since as predicted it got her mind off her anxiety and she was smooth the rest of the way through asking about the process and my story. I wished her luck.
Judy, the nurse from back when I got Lupron every month, came into give me my vaccinations. On the first one her hand was shaking and (as is my tradition) I watched everything she did. She said, "Relax" as if she were nervous for the first one. I chuckled as she did it and offered, "You don't have to worry about it." She loosened up. The second one she just went for and then chuckled as she said, "Oh, you're bleeding!" and I replied, "I thought that might come up." We chatted and hugged and she acknowledged that she's a special nurse to me and she'll tell the other nurse I loved how I was doing.
The nervous nurse then came to collect me when I was about to leave and pulled me into a private room to stutter that my hemoglobin was fine but that my cholesterol was 7 points too high. I think she thought the news would kill me. I grinned and replied, "The regular dieting and exercise, I presume? I'm sure my father will be pleased to have someone to join him in torture." She laughed and breathed out her relief. I wished her well and set off.
Snoopy called while I had been changing into the paper cloths and that was hilarious 'cause I was hopping around stripping while giving bad directions on the phone. It was a classic Clueless Kiwi moment.
Home took trash and stuff in. Talked with Mum. Came up and did my English homework while watching Rocky. Susan Sarandan is really attractive. Did bio homework to Harry Potter.
Came on and saw a labeled_girl
entry that made my stomach feel gross somehow.
I don't want people to be like me or strive to be me. I just wish they would give some more powerful traits some attempts to experience just how freeing they really can be.
After all, I used to be a shy, awkward, innocent/immature girl. My nature still tells me to be one frequently. It's the deep breath and the step to the left for me that allows me to be who people think I am, and who, through that, I really am. We aren't each just one person, are we? I'm sure we all are as many people as we have emotions and moods.
But the words of the entries were nice. It made me feel guilty for getting annoyed when people act childish and shy and awkward, but I don't think that will change because sometimes it really frustrates me and it can work to alter a situation for the worse and drag us behind rather than help us get ahead. There's a time and place for everything. (Which makes it completely understandable when sometimes people get frustrated with me for being confident and outgoing and mature.)
It is also why sometimes I, Kiwi St-----, am sometimes shy and awkward and childish.
But the thoughts are more pronounced in my brain and didn't translate so well to words on a screen. Oh well. I guess for the moment I give up.
Tonight I have to:
- Edit the graduation party invite paper.
- Read biology chapters.
- Get some sleep.
Tomorrow I hate to:
- Stay after until at least 3:30.
- Go to KP at 6:00.
- Do more work.