April 16th, 2008

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

(no subject)

Yesterday I gave Mrs. Cav the wand I was given before my hip replacement.
I told her to think/pray/whatever on it and after she was through with it pass it on to someone else who was having surgery to continue the cycle.

Woke up and did my English homework.
Spanish was canceled because the TV wouldn't work and it was wonky. Passed in my page-long paper.
Got to type up my English.
Bio Mrs. Coop is out until after vacation and we got mad work to do, but I finished most of the class work, already did the lab, and now all I really have is the book work and the final part of the worksheet. Study first period tomorrow, too!
Pre-calc we did work and we have a quiz tomorrow probably. Quinny is so pretty...
Lunch I ate with Pan and took out a book to read since I thought I didn't have a pleasure reading book with me. It's another quicky. feed or something.
Amlit more notes. Field trip Friday. Yay!
Study read the book.
Platmat pruned a crabapple tree with Watsonii and she's pretty toooo.
Went off to watch the Darfur movie in the library.
Everybody greeted me. "Hi Kiwi" "Hey Kiwi" "Kiwiiii!" I chuckled. Renae shouted, "Why aren't you sitting with ME?" and I hollered back, "You don't have a chair open, bozo!" and sat down with Shaya. Dragged Ari over.
I hate pseudostraightgirl crushes. She's dating Dave. Who is my partner in tree pruning in platmat. Oh, the irony.
Spoke with Mrs. Cav after school. As always, I felt I overstayed my welcome but I didn't even stay that long. I keep thinking she's uncomfortable with me now but she says she isn't. It's probably just because she was trying to get all her work done since she won't be in school tomorrow or Friday and then is vacation and she'll be absent the first day back.
She knows it's sort of the anniversary of when we started getting close, and she's about to go in for GA surgery, so I know she understands why I would want to get in at least a little bit of time with her.
When I was hugging her I said, "I never expected to be wishing you off for April vacation knowing you were the one getting surgery." She sat down and smiled and replied, "We just don't expect these things, do we?" I shook my head. Wished her luck again.
Gods, I always wish so much we had met in some other way. Through my congregation, through a mutual companion, accidentally... But now, we met as Teacher as Student and have had to adopt all the Red Lines that come with that. It's agonizing knowing that if I had met her any other way our relationship would be different. My congregation friends (including those women who are older and in their 50s) are deep friends of my heart and we are able to show that affection freely. It is not perversion or anything similar. But because of how me and Mrs. Cav met, we have had to take so much care and then she cut the Friendship part of it so we are Acquaintances and it's just incredibly painful. We both know we could have been so much more. She's so afraid, though. I can't blame her for her fear. Just maddening.

Drove home and was texting. Got mail.
Cleaned my room. I love it vacuumed. I still have surfaces and drawers, but I feel better in my room now.
Uploaded the senior youth photos.
Sent out the GSA email.
It's amazing how productive someone can be when she's avoiding writing a stress-inducing paper.

Parental units called. Spoke with Mum.
Da then asked, "So are you doing well?"
In natural Kiwi language I responded, "No, I died."
He retorted, "Well then, we'll have to come home and have a wake for you."
I grinned. "Do you have wakes when you're cremated?" He didn't know. I continued, "I think we should get a clean toilet bowl and put my ashes in that. And then people can gather around it and people can take pictures. It will be the most amazing wake ever." We decided I needed to create a religion in which this was a practice.

Now it's time for Bio II homework. At least some of it. I'm leaving quite a bit of it for before-school and study time tomorrow.
Double study 5th and 6th tomorrow. Life is fabulosa.
And tonight or tomorrow I get to shower with my new liquid soap. Vanilla. Yum.

I feel goodgoodgood.