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Kiwi Crocus
05 March 2008 @ 08:01 pm
My lover, Cindi.

Yes Double D.

[whisper] ...I think she's psychotic. What do I do? [/whisper]


No, I can't come, because I will be DEAD, because I will have KILLED MYSELF.



(This post is not to be taken seriously under any light.)
 
 
Kiwi Crocus
05 March 2008 @ 10:48 pm
Yesterday.

Study first period was activity period so I had to go to NHS.
Second period science we started watching The Science of HIV and it almost made me cry.
Third period it was Lindsay's day-before-birthday so I got a cupcake.
Lunch I guess I sat alone and read.
I love the sound of walking down the hallway from the cafeteria and hearing all noise disappear until all I can hear is the sound of my own footsteps going down the hall.
Fourth period English more discussion.
Double study I did my maths homework and had a discussion with Shaya. Hate that politics were brought up. She now knows that I don't have interest in voting. I managed to hold up fine, though, and we're good. Silly how two people could split and not 'be good' over something like politics. It's also 'funny' (can't think of a better word) that my family has a history of not voting but also not talking about it.
Garden design we procrastinated in the room and I probably read.
Interiorscapes I handed in the project early.
I drove Makuchan home from school and we hung out for a little while thinking about our webcomic.
I went to work and hadn't changed (gasped). My students got to see me as a human teenager. So amusing. We had a good time of being informal but still getting work done. They're such good kids.
Drove home and hung around. Didn't do as much as I should have.
Fell asleep reading the incredibly boring English story.


Today.
Woke up late to thunder and then my brother informing me that the had to be in school early (which was by that time impossible). Asked him why he couldn't have told me that the night before. He replied that he hadn't checked his homework until that morning. Sigh.
Spanish no one had the review sheet because we all didn't change our passwords for the account. It was boring. I talk too much but it's only to keep myself from falling asleep.
Caught up a little with Mrs. Cav before going to plant guides. Told her Mum got laid off and spilled coffee on the back of her hands, so now she is insulted AND injured. Talked a little. Asked for a hug and she was glad to give one. I'm handling this like a mature little lady, now. I like seeing Mrs. Cav happy. Hope her future surgery goes well.
Plant guides I read the boring English story and finished. The presentations went well. As usual, Ray bugged me a lot. Somehow he just rubs me the wrong way.
Went to lunch and ate and read.
Plant materials we went out and collected samples in the muddy muck. I had very wet feet by the end. Mertz had a class out there as well. Watson ape-called to him. It was the funniest thing. She then explained that when she was a kid, her father used to tell them they could go off but when he gave the ape call they would have to meet him a certain place. It always worked. I said gently, "Oh, you haven't spoken of him much" since she often talks about her mother. She turned to me, gave a sad but forgiving sort of I'm-over-it smile and remarked, "I wouldn't, since he died 30 years ago." I wanted to hug her on the spot regardless but 'course there was a class of kids around. Two, really.
Interiorscapes...well, all day Brodeur was calling me her smiley girl because the first time she saw me she asked, "Where's my smile?" so I smiled for her and she asked why I wasn't smiling. I retorted, "I have chapped lips, but when I have my chapstick I'm sure I'll offer you multiple smiles." She told me that was the spirit. So in interiorscapes I was quick to smile at her. It was a really nice Brodeur day, actually. She joked with me and invited me to the Flower Show field trip. Gave me the next plants we have to do. Dracaena. I finished two.
Garden design we sat around and I pretended to read.

TJ through the day texted me a few times about hanging out but when I tried to reach him at the very end of the day to ask about location he didn't answer.
Marissa gave me chocolate.
On the way home Snoopy called and said she and Toast were going to have a talk, so would I mind going over there?
I drove over and settled in. Got on the phone to get my missed homework for periods three and four. Snoopy came in.
I started in on vocab. homework since it didn't look as though either was ready to talk just yet.
Kyle stormed in and seemed very depressed and suddenly we were leaving.
Snoopy and I came up here and hung out. Played a little rock band. Decided I was apparently going to Astronomy Night with Mr. Grover, too.
Went to Subway with my Dweeb and we got subs. Shared one with Snoopy. I liked it.
Went to Astronomy Night and it was cold but Mr. Grover and his father were funny.
Almost swore in front of him when I was annoyed with my brother because he wouldn't let me speak for myself. That always irks me. I'm perfectly capable of answering to "strangers," thanks, even if they are your teachers. It's well within my comfort zone.
Confused him for a minute when he thought I went to the school. All was clarified when he realized I went to the Aggie. Triggered him to ask about the siblings of all the others there.
Didn't end up getting to see stars. The sky didn't clear.
Picked up Toast on the way home.

Here, we hung around in my room.
Video games were pulled out. I gave up trying to make my printer work.
Toast was excited about the game. Snoopy decided she wanted to play.
She tends to do that and then get bored with it really easily and it seems to bug Toast. xP.
I was studying (as Kiwis often do), Toast was on sites like Facebook (as Toasts often are), and Snoopy was being a little bit childish (which unfortunately Snoopies often do to the annoyance of Toasts and Kiwis) but we loved each other anyway.
At the end, when Snoopy decided to head out, I brought up my bad feelings.
We had a long talk about how I love Snoopy dearly, and that sometimes I'm afraid that she really is most comfortable with us and that she "let's herself go" or her real self come out with us--and that her real self is the part that annoys us. But at the same time, I don't think that's what's it. I think she has a Toast and Kiwi mask or something similar that she falls into with us, especially when Toast is around. So I brought up masks and how we all have them, but how she seems to be Stuck (it was her word of the day as labeled_girl) in her mask around us sometimes. How I think she's an amazingly awesome girl sometimes, but that when she falls into the mask it's really hard to feel close with her and feel her...I don't know, her real humanity. Her true essence? Something of that sort. It feels cut off with the mask.
So we had a really good talk about that, I think.
Then we talked about Sharon and that stuff and Snoopy was just being incredibly cool. So instead of letting it go without comment, I decided to speak up. I told her how amazing and awesome she was being. Just as sort of...I don't know, encouragement--proof that she really is completely awesome! That it's just when the mask gets in the way that we have trouble.
So that'll be something for us all to work on, I'm sure. We're here and we're friends and that's good!

Now back to studying. I've put it off long enough. Off with the computer, off with its head!