March 3rd, 2008

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

(no subject)

I woke up in the morning and Da beat me to the shower. This is why I have to shower at night. Remember that, Kiwi.
Spanish was dumb and annoying so I studied for bio.
We got stuff back in bio. I got an 86 on a lab for dumb things. Then an A- on the blood lab. Gehhh. And a 92 on another packet. I felt really crappy. I did alright on other things, though.
Maths we went over easy stuff. Quinn and I joked.
Lunch I told Pan all the dyke drama. She said, "Kiwi, they need to make a TV show out of your life--it's so exciting!" I groaned and replied, "They did. It's called the L Word." But there was no one there to laugh with me.
We discussed Pan and how her boyfriend says she sucks at sucking. And how she has to find ways to get better or become a lesbian.
English discussed. Got my paper back. A+ and he wrote really nice things. I was walking on a cloud to study.
Did my maths homework in study. Started my bio.
Plant materials we worked on Watson's new little project. Turns out Dufault wrote those sorts of things on everyones' papers. Guess he was just in the mood to tell us our writing had all matured. Not that it should make it any lesser... Got a really bad feeling in my stomach and had the feeling that something bad was going on.
Oh. In maths Josh brought something Dufault said about a gun way out of context and started a mean class discussion. I stood up for Dufault. I guess Britt brought up what had happened to him, and he urged the class to stick up for him. I told him I had. He seemed really concerned about it, but under the gruff exterior. I could feel it anyway. I left and he mentioned it one more time. He just reminded me to stick up for him. I said, "Always, Mr. Dufault. Every day." He thanked me and smiled. Leaving, I told Pan, "Hah, we should make a DA! Dufault's Army."
Back to double Garden Design. I had a whopper of a headache. Read, glanced at the computer screen, great pain, freshman class came for the computer lab, we left and I went back to reading in 109.

Put my books away and read in Mrs. Frasier's room.
She mentioned to a few freshman, "And there's a very nice resource over in the corner reading." I looked up and realized she was talking about me. Smiled.
She winked at me going out the door. It made me feel good.
At 2:45, as is customary, I walked out of the door into the sunshine. I closed my eyes and smiled up at the sky. Allowed the breeze to travel through my hair and throw it all around in wispy tendrils. I heard Mrs. Cav's voice behind me say, "Kiwi, your hair looks great today!" I smiled and turned around. Thanked her. I felt very peaceful and serene. My voice was soft. Somehow, she managed to take that as my being upset, I suppose. She inquired, "Are you looking for someone?" I shook my head and smiled. Said no, I wasn't. She looked at me in a peculiar way and then explained that she was hurrying off to a staff meeting. I waved her off and smiled wistfully. Ah, the days in which people can take peace for upset...
I drove home and called Toast.
Went to her house and hung out for a while. She vacuumed.
Guess there's a random girl who lives there from time to time. Willis' dad's ex-wife/fiance's daughter or something.
Drove to my house and had a call from Snoopy. Invited her over. She had a book for me.
We had a pretty alright time.
Toast kept getting pretty angry around the video game thing, but I wondered how much of it actually stemmed from video games.
I drove Snoopy's car to and from Toast's when dropping her off to get ready for her time with Sharon. She promised to stop by so I could meet Sharon.
Went back and finished watching the L Word. (Frackin' L Word. Poor Shane.)
We talked but I could tell that I wasn't able to get centered enough to be at all helpful. I still had the anger in me and I didn't know how to separate it at that moment. But at least everything is more out in the open.

Of course I feel horrible that my best friend has a terrible case of unrequited love.
And yes it bites more that it didn't used to be unrequited.
But things change and stuff, so I don't really know what to say I guess.
Or I could say stuff but it'd just be repeating things in different words.
I was pretty harsh and I could tell she was getting panicky but I didn't know what to do since my brother was in the room.
She said she was going to go so I walked her outside.
Offered to talk to Toast for her to see if I could offer some help unraveling Toast's mind. Sometimes I'm good with that--I can get out what she's trying to say or express, and translate it into Snoopese. And translate from Snoopese into Toastese. So I offered to, with Toast's permission if I get it, try to act as some type of translator.
We'll see how things go.

I finished my homework.
I know I should be working on bio or preparing for my Spanish exam or something, but I don't have it in me.
I think I'm going to go read about Rachel Carson because Snoopy took out a book for me from the library and I like it.
I need to get on my time management.
It just gives me such a headache.

But in other news, I really love my hair.
I think it must be my one true vanity.

Sigh. Life is strange right now.
I'll work through. I'm good at that.
I'm really doing fine.