April 25th, 2007

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

(no subject)

The Morning Report:
(this is the morning report... [/singing])

I have FOUR things of diodorant in my get-ready-in-the-morning box (GRITM box?) and they're ALL empty.

I scrounged enough life out of them but really, Kiwi...

Why don't you THROW THEM OUT so you don't end up confused every morning?

I foresee a trip to CVS in the future. [/gets out of funky Trelawny persona]

Alright. Now I will get dressed beyond my underthings, start poking at the leftover homework, and go to schoooool.

(I get to see my teachers again! Squeesqueesquee! I haven't heard them speak in a long while.)

(Yes I've missed my friends too, but I've been talking to them on the internet now, so it's not so much. But of course still excited to see them.)
Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

(no subject)

Today was a hard day.

It was also the first day I cried in front of my therapist. Two tears fell from my eyes and then we just watched each other with locked eyes, my hazel to her caring brown. I was vulnerable. She understood.

I want to do my homework. I know I want to do my homework.

So why am I not, and instead reading stories I wrote about a favorite teacher? Reassurance...

This is how I felt last year and the year before around the time I started breaking down in school. I don't want this again...

Pain. So much pain.

All my teachers are worried about me. Except for one, who I have hidden it from until tonight. The one who matters.

All my teachers worrying...it breaks my heart.

But not as much as the strain on my relationship with this particular mentor. Why am I doing this? How much of it am I making up, imagining into existence?

And more importantly, when am I going to talk to her about it?