It has been a hard few days.
Today, though, I danced.
Coffee House kept me moving, selling tickets, being active, making people laugh...
It even got me dancing for hours, smiling, moving, loving...
Lisa and Sharon were there. Said this was a good look for me--free hair, long loose skirt, button-down shirt... Mum said I look Bohemian. I think I can appreciate that.
I felt attractive.
Today, that was what I needed.
Tomorrow I'm chalice child. It made me laugh.
Dream: I was at home and tired, but for some reason I had to take the MCAS. I was finishing up the English and knew that I had all of maths left. Cathy, Mum's friend, arrived and they were hanging out but more in the way that they used to way back then than they do now--especially since Cathy has a kid. So I finished up English and was onto maths, and the moment before Cathy walked in I realized I had done all the MCAS before. It finally clicked that something wasn't right, because I had taken these tests and even had my grades back.
I hung out with Cathy, resting on her and sleeping while she "played" a computer game--someone else was playing the actual game, she was using the keyboard to type in the chat. I laughed, since that's sometimes what I do. Then it was apparently time to shower, and suddenly there were two showers in my upstairs bathroom.
So, I got in, started washing... Realized I still had my clothing on. I managed to get everything off and put it in a wet pile in a corner. Cathy was telling me how lucky I was that I knew who I was so young (being lesbian, of course, and not knowing that I was the type of person to enter a shower with clothes on) and that I shouldn't be careful with my heart. That it healed as quickly as my eye, but that it's my brain I have to worry about because it totes around the baggage--sometimes makes it up first, just to tote around.
I got out of the shower and despite knowing that something wasn't right with the MCAS thing, I went back and attempted to finish it yet again, just in case. I couldn't even do it. Somehow, I didn't know how. They were the same questions I had had before and now I couldn't answer them. I put it aside, drew the covers up, and went to sleep. Soon enough I was waking in the dream and thus woke up in real life, jumping to look at the clock since I thought maybe I had overslept. 8:55 and I had planned to wake up at 9:00.
Today was a wonderful day.
I was Chalice Child.
People said I was elegant and amazing (and I was completely flattered).
I played my flute for an hour and a half and it feels RIGHT again.
I watched Harry Potter 4.
I am inspired to really write than long fanfic I have planned, as long as I find the notebook I have it in--which I need to find anyway, because it has a lot of school work.
I wrote a good amount of letters and sent them out. I love letters.
Fantastic day, and what's even better--I don't have school tomorrow.