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Kiwi Crocus
19 December 2006 @ 06:53 am
Bethaloupe slept over.

We cooked our stuff for the presentation.

But did we plan it?

No.

I'm pretty ashamed of that... Normally I plan them, practice them, go over them in my head... I haven't.

I don't like this feeling.

I have a history test I haven't studied for.

Tomorrow I have five sheets for Ms. Watson do and I've barely started.

Tomorrow I have a math paper and project due. Have barely started.

Thursday I have a presentation due for Mr. Lee. Barely started.

I hate this lack of motivation.

I want to go back to the smart, strong, courageous, motivated, ambitious girl I was whatever amount of weeks ago. I don't want to be seeing myself do this. I know that today--this evening--will probably be heck.

How many panic attacks will I have before I finish this stuff? How overwhelmed will I be? How good will the products be?

Sigh.

That's right. Another day of school. Off I go, toting a peanut butter and strawberry fluff sandwich to a place that is currently destroying me.

And the sad thing is, it used to be my best friend.

I feel betrayed. Only really, I'm the traitor.

Sigh.
 
 
Kiwi Crocus
19 December 2006 @ 10:25 pm
I tried doing my maths project on the omega symbol.

But it was so hard and confusing that I just ended up having a panic attack (drats on my not-so-strong current mental health). Da couldn't help me.

So I decided to change to the zero sign and just hope that I can use some charisma points on Mrs. Czyrk tomorrow.

She knows about how I get. I think she'll understand.

So yes. Now it's a page more than it should be and I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing with my presentation.

I even have a half an hour of free time.

Plus Merf wants to go to the Solstice gathering with me.

Yay happiness.