November 7th, 2006

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

Ugh yucky mood.

I feel as though everyone's talking down to me like I'm a child when they're only trying to help. And though I'm usually good at admitting that I am young when it comes to adults and peers, well... I guess I felt as though I was being talked down to by someone on my level.

Didn't really appreciate that.

But again, it was just a feeling. Doesn't make it true.

She was just trying to help. Not her fault I got my knickers all in a knot.
Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

This is when, had I the habit, I would bite my fingernails.

Instead I'll keep my hands away from my mouth, just in case.

Today Mrs. Cav was cranky, understandably. She was being pretty hard on herself and others. Again, understandably--she's human. So in my email I put in a little part about being slightly amused with the crankiness, and about how Mum laughs when I get prickly.

And her reply was sarcastic.

Normally, that wouldn't phase me. But she thinks that sarcasm is unprofessional. So she's probably still cranky.

She's stressed out. I get that.

I'm just so very worried that... I don't know. I get the feeling that it had nothing to do with me, but still...

I'm worried that I offended her. Displeased her. That she's miffed with me. Because, again, she's human and humans do those sorts of things.

I so don't want to freak out about this. So I keep reminding myself that she loves me and doesn't want to hurt me.

I feel so pathetic to be going nuts about this. But really, I would with other people too. Sarcasm over the internet is hard, unless the person using it is ALWAYS sarcastic. So it's easy to infer where it's coming from.

But ouch, ouch ouch.

I really hope I didn't hurt her feelings. I need to go write. Calm down. Not be shaking.

I'm not pathetic. I'm just concerned. In the words of Mrs. Cav, acknowledge the feelings and let them go...