November 5th, 2006

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

Treebum's post... becoming my post as well. Because, besides number 15, this was what I was going to post. So thank you Treebum. I love you!

1) Why is the fundamental relationship between hunger and food so difficult for me to understand? When I am hungry, I should eat. When I am not hungry, I should not eat. Hello, brain? Are you listening?
2) Why is it that the most I feel towards half the people I hang out with IRL is indifferent dislike?
3) Why do I have to be so far away from the people that I love?
4) Why do I find damaging my body to be so appealing?
5) Why can't I go to college already?
6) Why is it so fucking hard for me to keep in touch with my best friend?
7) Why am I constantly preoccupied with mental crap-- even when I feel perfectly okay? Why can't I just come to terms with what's happened over the past year, and accept that things are different now and will continue to be so--especially when nothing actually *happened*?
8) Why can't I get over myself and be a friend to the people that need it?
9) Why am I so fucking scared that something horrible is going to happen to me or my parents?
10) Why am I so goddamned unnattractive to people? I mean, I can go off the deep end of weird sometimes, and I'm not so hot at the whole long term commitment thing, but I don't think I'm a such terrible person.
11) Why isn't anyone who they appear to be?
12) What do I have to do to catch somebody's eye around here?
13) Why do I keep getting crushes on straight girls?
14) If I leave this town, will I continue to be a freak of nature?
15) Why is it that I'm the heaviest girl in the cast of Miracle Worker?
16) The fuck is wrong with me?