April 25th, 2006

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

Where does a lost Natural Resources major go?

So, as Laura pointed out in her journal entry, the Natural Resources major from the plant science department is being pulled. That leaves me as a lost ex-NatRes major, with few options... none of them that I like.

I expected to be freaking out about this, but I guess it'll start tomorrow after I'm "officially" told (Mr. Lee gave me the heads up today, a day in advance) and given my options, if it starts at all. I feel so lost, though. I've been gung ho about Nat Res since last year when I decided to be a plant science major. Like, there was NO DOUBT in my mind. The other majors had a bit of flip flopping, and two actually got on board late.

So they have back ups. I couldn't find a back up, even then. I would have one, if I were physically normal. I'd be okay with doing arbor, since Mertz would have specifically given me lots of Nat Res information since he knows how much I loved the prospect of being a major in it. But I can't do what they do in arbor, so what's the point? And something based in horticulture? I can see it as a period or two here or there, but not for a major in school. Landscaping isn't even an option, in my mind. Not for me.

Even with that news, my day has been actually really great. I got to laugh at/with Mr. Dufault when he pulled a kidd-ish trick by whipping a long plastic nose out of his drawer, putting it on his, making fun of Liz M., and picking his "nose". I got to hand in my work for Steele, and talk with her for a bit. I got to listen to Mrs. Cavanagh teach class, and when she seemed miffed ask her about it after class. (We're going too slowly and are far behind in the class, due to MCAS.)

I got to learn how to do a part of math that I couldn't learn in the THREE YEARS of elementary school that they spent trying to teach me about it. Not the whole three years, but it was often enough. I got to see Mrs. Brown teach the class how to do the MCAS problems I didn't understand (I'm practically the only one that asks questions in there--Josh does sometimes, but he gets intimidated after a few). I got to help Josh out by asking the questions he wanted asked, and I didn't even know I was. I laughed with Mrs. Brown and the class when Mrs. Steele came in and they bantered about a bet, and then privately with Mrs. Brown about being Mrs. Steele's friend and how she is on road trips. ("She's horrible on road trips! She sleeps the whole time!")

I was able to joke with friends in the hall, do something eccentric and strange and see them smile at the idiosyncratic behavious, and laugh with them as our other friends met up. I got to joke with Jess, Makuchan's cousin, about her hair color and how I thought I was going insane (she agreed). I got to see Mrs. Cavanagh leaning against her doorway, laughing along with us and at us. I got to push Makuchan in the butt with my foot and hear her scream, "Fuck!" and laugh. I had Kleppy walking behind me and somehow manage to end up almost on top of me, thanks to her messenger bag and my rolling one.

I received a lovely email from Mrs. Cavanagh in reply, and part of it had me both inspired and blushing, as well as loved.

Thank you for filling me in on your hip history. Yes, pun
intended. I don't know how to respond. I haven't figured
out why we are given such challenges at young ages. If you
look around at lunch, you'll see that not everyone faces
their challenges in the same way. There's a lot of angry,
depressed, frustrated, maladjusted folks out there who are
stuck and see no reason to change or no way to change. In
between the doctor visits, I hope you take time to feel
pleased at how you've chosen to live your life.

Sweet dreams,
Mrs. Cav

((I loved the pun.))

I got the feeling that it is indeed spring.
Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

Day of Silence Tomorrow.

I just realized from Snoopy's entry that tomorrow's the Day of Silence. My school didn't plan anything. I'll be damned if I'll let that stop me from doing it.

I'm doing it differently, though. I'm not doing the silence--I will when I can, but for the most part no. I decided I'm going to cut up strips of paper, color them rainbow with colored pencils, and have people that want to tape it onto their shirts tomorrow. I'll also prepare myself to explain what the Day of Silence is and what it does/what it's for.

Kory's going to help make a few, and be able to speak about it, but he says he might not be able to make many since he doesn't have much paper at his house. I asked Lisa, and she didn't much like the idea of making our own so she searched her house for some store-bought ribbon. She found black. I pointed out that it might give the wrong impression, but if she thinks it'll work I'll go for it--along with my rainbow ones.

So what if people associate black with goth and death a lot of the time? Hopefully Kory and I, and whoever else will help, will be able to explain it well enough that the idea behind it is stopping the "silence"/harassment and discrimination. Lisa's not going to speak to anyone about it, she doesn't want to (I know she's shy), so I'll have to see who else I can get to do it.

I won't talk much when I have the chance not to, as well. I'll answer teachers and tell others what the Day of Silence is about, but other than that I'll zip it.

All right. I better get started on those ribbons! I'll do my chemistry homework tomorrow in study, and I'll skip out on writing today even though I said I would.

EDITED (11:44) -- Finished 90 ribbons, with a little rainbow border just above the bottom of each end. I've printed out 72 little Day of Silence messages to pass out, as well. It's looking good.
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