February 24th, 2006

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

Ugh. It's Friday.

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It's Friday. I'm sixteen. It's Friday.

Lisa was supposed to call around two. How surprised am I that she didn't? She told me she'd call even if we couldn't get together. YeathanksLisa.

I'm hungry. I'll go down and grab some food when I finish this. There's tons left from the partet.

Which was fun. It was also pre-period. (For those who don't know, pre-period = very, VERY cranky Kiwi). So I got miffed at my friends for including Caleb in their whole, "marriage" thing. Then more miffed in trying to get my brother into it.

It annoyed me when I wasin it, so I "divorced". I don't like the game. I don't really know why. But when I came out of the bathroom to find that my little brother's friend was not only involved, but now had my two best school mates all over him, I was royally PISSED OFF.

Which wasbad, since it was at that point that we went to do the cake stuff. I eventually half-forgave them, kinda sorta. Not all that much.

I set up plans with Quack in the morning. I'm going to coffee house Saturday (Five o'clock Shadow!) and then sleeping over at her place and going to church with her the next day.

When everyone was gone I went to the bathroom and find that I've soiled my panties with blood. I've slightly stained Kleppy's pants, which I'd been wearing. The first time I looked it was more of an, "Ohhh I get it now" moment. Then I was vexed again because I'd justleft a little stain in Kleppy's pants. ("Oh, yeah, Kleppy...I was SO angry at you that I thought I'd stain your pants.")

So uh...grr.

Even as I described the partet so badly, it was actually quite a blast. Merf went home at 3:00 A.M. in pain. Hitomi left around 10 or 11. Ilana did as well. Lisa Quinn is fed up with me.

Still I'm not describing it well. I had a lot of friends there. We played DDR a lot. Ate a lot. Listened to music. Laughed. Smiled. Stuff of that sort. It was fun.

I got a potato from Ilana (when I opened it I was so happy!!) and then a "Bonsai Potato" packet. Hark hark. Rainbow toe sox and Affinity by Sarah Waters from Hope. Mum made the mistake of saying, "Haven't you already read that?" when I was trying to be tactful and thankful, even though I already have it. Now I'll have a book to sell to get Fingersmith, so in essence Hope is getting me Fingersmith. Then I'll have all three.

I got $20 from Quack, Kate, and Carla. I got a $20 gift certificate to Barnes and Noble from Merf. Hazelnut chocolate from Hitomi. An AWESOME tree book from Jean (it's the one that Mertz has and brings out every other class!!). I'm going to bring it in and show him that I have it. He'll be so proud of me.

We watched Pet Cemetary. I was so happy during the gory parts. Before they were happening I'd be all scared with my potato. Then they'd start happening and I'd be bouncing and clappy like a happy child. It was great. Then we finished and though some people wanted to watch one of the other horror movies I'd rented, we stuck with Monty Python and the Holy Grial for those that didn't want another horror.

I got to talk along with the script. It was nice.

I'm doing the whole "Forgive but not forget" with Makuchan and Kleppy at the moment. We'll see if I forget later on.

Sorry about the lack of Boskone entry. I need to write one up sooner or later.

Now for food.
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  • Current Music
    Crooked Teeth || Death Cab for Cutie.
Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

Sometimes I feel like people just don't listen to me.

Do people (and by that I mean those that I'm close to) actually understand that I don't like touching? There are some times that I do. When I do, whoever I'm with will know. Why? Because I'll either tell him or her or just start the touching. Other than that I DO NOT like touching.

It doesn't reassure me. It doesn't make me happy. It doesn't make me want to touch back. It makes me feel nervous, uncomfortable, sad or angry, and sometimes makes me want to be distant. So it achieves the very opposite.

So many people that I "hang" with don't seem to GRASP this. No longer how many times I say it. It's kisses on the cheek when we leave, wanting to sit in my lap, wanting me to sit in laps, wanting me to splay myself over people, wanting to hug all the time, crossing arms or legs with other people. Just UGH. I don't want to!

I can understand in a few cases. When it's asked for, and I want to. I don't feel guilty when it's asked for and I don't want to.

So this was a huge ranting entry. It's not based at anyone in particular, really. I'm just feeling unheard.

Don't worry about leaving, "*Hugs*" in reply to my entries or anything. I've yet to come across a case where I don't think those are necessary, or when I don't like those.

I've gone into complete hermit mode. I was very social. I need my alone time. (I now have NO question about it. Haha. I'm a total introvert.)

I want to go out to the movies alone. I haven't done that in a long time. I miss it.
  • Current Music
    The Jeep Song || The Dresden Dolls.
Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

I was just laughing really, REALLY hard.

I laughed for a good two minutes. I was watching the L Word (Episode 1 of Season 3) and a lot of times they'd have this round-the-table sort of conversation with names for clits, then fucking, and then kooches/vaginas. Those were pretty hilarious. But then as the credits were rolling it continued even as I could only see the names on the screen. At that point I couldn't stop laughing.

I laughed and laughed and laughed.

Even thinking about it I start laughing.

Especially the very last thing that was said.

Kit: -Says one.- "Oh, that's so generic!"

Ugh. So.Funny. Could.Die.


L Word = Dramatic Lesbian Love.
  • Current Music
    My own laughing.