February 16th, 2006

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

PT Evaluation.

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I had a PT evaluation. So after finally getting into a deep sleep and catching a few hours, I had to be woken up and dragged out the door. I wasn't pleased.

It was a very painful trip there, specifically the crutching. I made it, though. It was a strange experience. Mum and Da did say that I'm good at dealing with things, especially concerning my hip, without blame and anger. This was after the PT person said no healing would go on if my family couldn't let it go. I felt really great when Mum and Da said that. I mean, I know I have all those names for doctors and complain about them a lot, but I don't blame them for any of this.

I don't even blame myself. Why? Because there is no fault. What's so is that my hip was slipping months before I fractured it, and then I fractured it. Fact is fact. Mum is convinced my doctors should have recognized it as a side affect of lupron, but I don't.

After all, it was added formally to the list after I fractured my hip. So I helped. People after me, specifically young'ns, will be warned of hip pain and what it can produce.

Anyway, the PT person poked and prodded, and then helped adjust my soft tissue. She used an electronic machine thing, too, which was strange. I was really tired. I was crying as I was crutching out. She had told me I should try putting more weight on my left leg and walking heel-toe with the crutches. I wanted to do it, and it hurt. I did it anyway. That made me proud.

Now Da's out getting food at Whole Foods. We'll have a nice feast. =]. He's getting me chicken, a few nice sauces, avacado, veggies, and celery. I'm looking forward to it. :3.

I finished Kushiel's Chosen last night. The ending was GREAT. It reminds me of the Tammy fics I read before I even knew they were Tammy-fics or fics at all. I skimmed through Clockwork Angels as far as pictures go after trying to read it. Unfortunately, it's a sequal to Lea's first graphic novel, so I have to get that one first. I started Dare Truth or Promise which is really great so far.

I'll probably go back to reading soon, after doing more online stuff. Then I get good, yummy food.
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Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

So, school tomorrow.

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Of course, I haven't done any of the work. I'll print out an article for health and give my reaction. That's easy. Then I've got a test to study for in it. Nicotine and alcohol. I do have a study, so I can handle things there. Hopefully my teachers will understand that I haven't really been able to do much but sit in my bed and cry, then read when I'm not blinded.

I wish I weren't so immature. She's such an amazing person, and beautiful as well. Ugh. I wonder if I'll ever be mature in romance and intimacy. I haven't a clue. Even when I did fall in love, it was over the internet. There were no loving looks or caring embraces. Hah, it's easy enough to make a voice sound loving over the phone, as well. Doesn't make it real. I wonder when I'll be ready for real.

It's driving me pretty insane. Well, mayhap not insane, but it upsets me enough. I suppose I just have to give myself time. I'm the one that's always saying I have years and years to find love, and should be in no hurry...

I want this mood to finish up. Then I'll be able to get back to business and accomplish a few things. Egheghegh. I don't want to take any more pain killer... I'll put the icepack back in the fridge. Ibuprofen, that's what I'll take. It won't give me the horrid side affects.

-The maturely-immature Kiwi.

EDIT: It's 9:11. Interesting.
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