December 3rd, 2005

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.


I woke up, got ready, and went to PT. It was hard. Really, really hard. And exhausting. I felt like ripping someone's throat out and crying at the same time. I have thus huge fear of being weak, and I hate that I am in any place in my body. I know it's fine to have weak places and traits, but... They've just never been in my body before. Even my height was never a true weakness. When it gets to the point that I can't even sidestep with my hip it makes me want to scream.

My walking was analized as well as my strength. By the time I left I felt quite horrible about myself. Mum took me to the Holiday Sale at the Murray UU church, which was fun. She bought some cards and then a cheap, green, fuzzy-knitted scarf and some blueberry bread for me. I adore my scarf. Then I came home and went online for a while.

Carla showed up at twelve to help paint my upstairs room so I can get back into it by the Winter Hols. I went up and helped a bit, but ended up curling up in a corner and falling asleep. It was an awkward position, half under a chair and half my spine twisted, and really hurt my shoulder. I informed Mum and Carla that I was going to take a nap and for them to get me if they needed anything. They haven't. I'm just on for a moment, and I asked Laura what time her party is at. 6. I'll probably end up being a bit late. No surprise.

I'm looking foreward to food. -Hungry.- -Hugs self.-
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    worried Weak.