December 1st, 2005

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.

Bugs, heroes, futures, and parents.

I slept on the couch last night because I was paranoid about my blanket moving underneath me. ... Apparently still bonkers. My iPod died yesterday and I forgot to charge her last night so I brought in my CD player... with no batteries. All day I asked if anyone had extras, and no one did. That made me sad. Kushiel's Chosen by Jaqueline Carey (the book after Kushiel's Dart in the series) is really great so far.

We watched march of the penguin in natural resources. I kept feeling like I had to pee, but I would go to the bathroom and find out that I didn't really need to. Then I thought maybe I was turned on or something, but that's definitely not how I usually feel when I'm aroused. So now I'm thinking it might be taking my acne pills on an empty stomach that did it. I also took advil on an empty stomach this morning, and the feeling-like-I-need-to-pee-when-I-don't-really-have-to sensation was worse. So blech.

SAM was fun. At the end we discussed bug stories, and how there are microscopic bugs eating the dead skin cells that fall of us into our matresses at night. And eating yogurt to get bacteria into the body. Plus those "zOmG she had cockroach eggs in lyk her TONGUE!" stories and how they're false.

Cafe vet was nifty. At the end Andrew was juggling and I was twirling my cane in both hands. We looked like we were from the circus. Hers was strange--we had to pick people in the class that were like people in the Revolutionary War time. I was assigned George Washington (Josh and a few other people said I was Washington-like). The personality traits used to describe him were "arrogant", "modest", and "nice".

In Eng we're doing Shakespear's "Julius Caesar" and I'm Brutus. Dufault assigned me the role. At first I thought I wished to be one of the sarcastic, manipulative characters. Now I'm glad Dufault assigned me Brutus. I've got a lot of those damned heroic qualities. High moral code, likes to right wrongs, etc. Dufault said I would make a good tragic hero. Hark hark.

Lunch was unexciting. Alg went by quickly, and Josh asked loads of questions. At one point Brown told him to just THINK, and then wrote up on the board, "THIMK". Josh pointed out that it was spelled incorrectly, and she replied that he didn't grasp the concept. Very few people in the class understood what she had done. Ah, well. In chem we had a sub, and Abby's attitude flared. So did Linschan's, and it miffed me to the point of extreme anger. When she uses the wrong element name, which affects tests grades, and I correct her it's REALLY vexing to hear, "I don't care" retorted back in ones face. I'm not correcting her for MY benefit--I'm doing it for hers. If she can't tell the difference between manganese and magnesium on a test she'll lose even more points. She currently can't let that happen, as she's getting bad enough test grades as it is.

Does she even understand that I'm trying to help her? She always tells me how she doesn't care about things--larger things that affect her FUTURE. Dana and Lindsay tell me the wish to go to the same college as I do in the future. I know I won't be applying for colleges high up on the lists, but I'll be looking for the best ones I can in my field. I've been getting all A's, or close to it. This year it's been all A's so far. Lins and Makuchan are lucky if they scrounge up an A or two, and the rest of their grades are low. Do they understand that it won't be possible for them to come to college with me if they keep their, "I don't care" attitude? It's THEIR future. It should be THEM caring, not ME. I've got MY OWN life to worry and care about, I don't need two more!

I feel like a parent. That brings me to my next and final topic in this entry. I called Makuchan to tell her that I couldn't sleep over because of PT (she only told me that the her-parents-bring-us-to-the-party-Saturday plan included me sleeping over YESTERDAY), so I invited her to sleep over here instead. When she asked her mother the woman started flipping out on Makuchan. Her mother was incredibly rude and hurtfull; I could hear what she said. I don't remember exact quotes, but it CERTAINLY wasn't flattering. Something about stories, and she certainly didn't seem to trust me.

Since when am I untrustworthy? Probably since I came out as gay and the moment I chose not to convert to Catholicism, in her eyes. When Makuchan and I hung up (abruptly) I started crying. It really hurts that my good friend's mother hates me.

'Kaythanksbyyyye. ~Cro.
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Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.


I forgot to add that I cleaned my room for hours today, and it has gone from a pig stye to being spotless. I like it. I also did my laundry.

Mum is in shock.