November 8th, 2005

Rainbow || Rainbow northern lights.


First day of my period.

Woke up with my bottom eye lids puffy again. Allergic reaction. To what? Makeup. It's what I get for trying to be pretty. Well screw makeup, I'm pretty without it. I don't need some damn paste to "enhance my features." Hell, what did it do in my end? It made my face look supposedly ugly. I still don't think it's ugly, but hey, society? THINK WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT. But if you DARE make a move about what you think and it hurts me, prepare for pain. If there's one thing I'm good with and good at, it's pain.

School was school, and I have great friends. They make me happy, even when they annoy me. I've got so many great friends, in and out of school.

I met with Diane, my mentor for Coming of Age, at the flatbread place. I really enjoyed it; we talked a lot about just...stuff. Lesbian stuff, a lot, but also about people and they way they and we are. We have a lot in common. I didn't feel strange, and she's new to me. I like that. I'm looking foreword to the field trip Friday to spend more time with her.

I have a dermatologist visit on Thursday. I've procrastinated with my stupid cremes and squirts, so I had a breakout of acne recently. Now I get to go and tell the doctor I didn't do what she said. The thing that miffs me most is that those few days that I didn't do the stuff at night, but did in the morning, were the first days that I didn't do it.

I've been really exhausted lately. And I lied to Diane about my throat. It does hurt, and it did feel swollen this morning. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable, and think that maybe I had something communicable (is that the word?). I need to get to the doctors.

My grades aren't impressing me. I need to get them up. No, not need--want. I want to get my grades up, because it's something I'm good at. I understand what we're doing in chemistry. I shouldn't be getting 88's across the board.

I'm worried about Snoopy. A lot. I want to call her. Why aren't I? I don't know. Where did my freakin' spine go?