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Kiwi Crocus
03 November 2005 @ 10:59 am
Growl. So it's Thursday, and I still haven't done my homework. I have woken up, read more of a fanfic I'm reading, made quite a breakfast, emptied and loaded the dishwasher, and decided to take a shower. So in a moment I'll be off taking a shower.

Then, of course, I'll be back. The call of the internet is a powerful thing. I'll be on to do homework, though. Then I'll be off again with a nifty away message to write my NaNo. I was hoping to get a lot done in the first week, and I hopefully still will. I'm trying not to be jealous of how many words Beans and Insanity Pages have, because I realize that they don't have to go to school for more than six hours a day. What they've achieved is fantastic, but I have to remember that I can only seek what is physically possible. When I only have four hours a day to write on weekdays, being up past 15k words right now is not a possiblity.

Thankfully, the weekend is on it's way. It'll be time for all-nighters with my green tea and home made sushi, as Lisachan says.

Anyway, that's enough of an entry from me.

'Kaythanksbyyyye ~Cro.

P.S.--NaNo WriMo is so masochistic. I'm so happy. -Grins.-

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Kiwi Crocus
03 November 2005 @ 07:41 pm
I'm currently feeling very bitter and angry. At the world, at myself, with myself, at and with humanity, and so much more. I just feel like...like I'm not amounting to what I should be. That currently, I'm not being the person I could be. I want to be.

Today has been a very nostalgic day. I found a lot of art and writing, as well as camera pictures, from eighth grade. I don't know how I can be so downtrodden at times, and so happy and joyful at others. It doesn't make sense to me. I guess that's what I get for being stoic for a year. Now that I've got these emotions again, I don't understand them.

I feel so lonely. I shouldn't. I shouldn't feel guilty, jealous, sorry, or so many of these emotions. But I do. I don't want to. Can't they go away?

Where'd my spine go? I want it back. Please give it back.