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01 October 2012 @ 07:15 pm
 
I want to make this a post of its own so it doesn't get mixed up with anything else.

My grandmother's cat died the day before yesterday. She started out with two and they both got to be 16 years old. The Boy Cat (she never named them: they were just Boy Cat and Girl Cat) died a few months back. Girl Cat died Saturday.

Grammie lives alone across town and animals have always been her thing. She has a few friends--mostly her across-the-hall neighbour--but mostly she spent time talking with her cats in her little senior-living apartment. Having both of them gone is a huge loss.

Last night she was crying so much she got a headache, so she took Tylenol. Then she was crying so much she couldn't sleep, so she took Tylenol PM. Seems she then had too much in her system as she got poorly; Mum took her to the Emergency Room today. Grammie's back here now and has taken one of my melatonin pills to sleep.

The same day as she cat, my father finally heard back from the company he's been doing free-lance work for; the guy he answers to had been a bit slimy in requesting him to come down, or save dates, or do work, but then having that fall through. The news finally came through that the company is "changing direction", and so Da's main client won't need his services as they have. It's sad in that he's been comfortable with it, and certainly glad to have an income he was used to again (he loves buying electronic do-dads), but he's also turned down other potential clients out of how much of his time went to this company. Now it's a case of chasing them down and just networking in general again. We have every faith in him, and for the most part we Crocus Lot are over Christmas being a big shiny holiday, so if the gift-giving is leaner this year it won't be a loss (that's not really the spirit of the time after all, is it?). Unfortunately, that knowledge won't help him with his guilt about it anyway--he loves providing fun stuff for his family and spoiling us with whatever we don't actually need.

I usually try not to post blatantly bad-news posts, I'm not sure why, but I'm posting this one more in honour of those around me hurting. I'm not so worried about my Grammie's health, but definitely her heart: keep her in mind/heart?

ETA (tmi warning): Now I'm worried. Turns out Mum wasn't able to get Grammie to the ER; Grammie refused and said she wanted to come back to our place and sleep, which she wouldn't be able to do at the ER. But she's got bloody stool and, while it could be something more normal like a hemorrhoid, of course the doctor my mother called said get her to the ER anyway. Mum didn't see the sample or call until Grammie had already firmly made her decision (we are a family of stubborn women) and was all comfortable. Mum's sleeping down on the sofa and will be trying to convince Grammie to get to the ER whenever it's next possible. It doesn't help that my mother's best friend died of colon cancer and the first symptom there (that the best friend ignored) was bloody stool.

Erglack, blergh, urgh. I'm no more a fan of the ER than the next person, but sometimes it's just best to go...
 
 
 
lash_laruelash_larue on October 1st, 2012 11:25 pm (UTC)
Shit .

I do hope that things work out. If he can find an answer to this damned "FBI" virus he can write his own ticket.

<3,L
Kiwi Crocus: HP || McMin || Braided concern.cranky__crocus on October 1st, 2012 11:32 pm (UTC)
Yes, definitely not fantastic.

Things will work out. We were in this situation but worse two years ago when he was first laid off--from there he had to create his whole business. Well, I guess then he was getting unemployment, but this time he already has the business and just has to nab the clients who have already expressed interest. He's fantastic at his job, so hopefully that won't be too long.

My father doesn't believe in much, religiously-speaking, but we can't help believing him with the look he gets in his eyes when he says, "There's a special hell designed just for people who make viruses and malware."
lash_laruelash_larue on October 1st, 2012 11:47 pm (UTC)
Yes there is, and Delta Force is designed just to deliver them there.

L

Edited at 2012-10-01 11:48 pm (UTC)
kellychamblisskellychambliss on October 1st, 2012 11:45 pm (UTC)
Oh, I'm so sorry about your grandmother's cats. They're family members, so of course she's grieving. Poor lady; I'm thinking of her.

I do understand her reluctance to go to the ER, but maybe you could try to get her to do it, not for herself, but for you and/or your mother? "Oh, Grammie, I'd feel so much more relieved; I'll just be miserable if I have to move away while I'm worrying about you. Won't you set my mind at ease?" (This one always worked on my mom, who was notorious about refusing to see doctors.)
Kiwi Crocus: HP || Rolanda || Watchful eye.cranky__crocus on October 2nd, 2012 12:11 am (UTC)
Thank you. I recall the other day we were chatting in the kitchen and she mentioned that she though it was the litter she used that killed her Boy Cat, and she nearly started crying on the spot; she told me she had purchased new litter for Girl Cat so it wouldn't happen again. And now with Girl Cat gone... Mother and I are scheming about how we can get her to take on another cat. We know, of course, that one pet does not ever replace another, but my grandmother is a very gregarious and chatty person who is not meant to be stuck up in a little apartment with not a living soul with which to interact. I've opened my ears up wider for the stories of "poor, kind cat needs a home--very cuddly, but left behind!" since I think if it came down to getting a cat for the cat rather than for herself she'd do it in an instant and it would help her, too. She's always feeding strays and caring for other animals.

I try not to think of people as "tragic cases"--too patronising and condescending; she'd hate it--and I certainly don't with her, but she fits the bill for what others might classify as that. She divorced my grandfather decades ago, dated a short time, and gave up dating/partners not long after; she never returned to it. Her love of cats alienated one of her daughters, one of her sons is deep in a depression, her other son can only talk about cats or motorcycles (and these days mostly cats), and her other daughter is my mother (who is now getting emotionally fried). Grammie has two grown grandchildren--one off in England now--and another teenage grandson she hardly gets to see, and never without the awkwardness of the mother/daughter issues that remain. She doesn't have many friends and doesn't get involved in communities. For a friendly family woman, she hasn't had enough friends or family to sustain her for a while--just the cat, and then cat. She's got one of the biggest hearts I've ever known; that's lots of heart to hurt.

Ah. I've rambled again. But given all I've just mentioned there, I am instead feeling grateful that I have this outlet and this community of caring friends.

I was thinking of trying that technique; I use it on my mother, too, especially when she goes and scares me by not going to her check-ups following successful treatment against breast cancer a while back (that frightens me senseless). I'll give it a shot when Grammie is awake enough to comprehend things. Guilt has always worked well on the stubborn women in this family.
lash_laruelash_larue on October 2nd, 2012 02:14 am (UTC)
Tell your mother I said to go to her checkups.

Don't make me come up there. Nobody wants that.

L
Kiwi Crocus: Rainbow || Threads.cranky__crocus on October 8th, 2012 09:58 pm (UTC)
You're lying there; you know she adores you. But yes, I absolutely push for checkups--will continue to do so! I think now that we're in a firmer state with insurance, it's better. Hopefully.
Shivshiv5468 on October 2nd, 2012 07:11 am (UTC)
I hope you manage to get Grammie to then er and that everything is fine
Kiwi Crocus: Women || Zoë Lewis strutting.cranky__crocus on October 8th, 2012 10:02 pm (UTC)
Thank you. (: That's pretty much what happened, with one operation that she's now recovering from. I helped her lug her laundry across the street and put up with listening to her chatty neighbour because I know that is how love works. Even if I resented the neighbour part about it.
(Deleted comment)
Kiwi Crocus: TB || Tara vampire.cranky__crocus on October 8th, 2012 10:05 pm (UTC)
Yes indeed! My Grammie is doing better now; she's recovering from the one operation.

companies have no idea what they do to a self-employed person if they drop them like that
Yes, it's a pity, especially since I'm sure it wouldn't be too difficult to come to that conclusion if a few of them would just think about it for a few minutes. He's pretty Zen about most things, but I can tell he's a bit down since we were grumbling together about life-things and for the most part, we both prefer not to be grumblers.

But I have faith in him. We all do. And what with technology forever on the rise (and the way he's always adapting to it), I also have faith that he will be needed again by another company that comes along and snatches him up.
Miss M.: ladybirdsmiss_morland on October 2nd, 2012 10:53 am (UTC)
Sending well-wishes to your dad and your gran both, my dear. <3
Kiwi Crocus: Hair || Natural beauty.cranky__crocus on October 8th, 2012 10:06 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much, darling. ♥
tt: sorrytwisted_twister on October 2nd, 2012 11:15 am (UTC)
Sounds like a claster of bad news. But most of them managable, so I have hope all will turn out good (gran goes to ER and is cleared, dad finds new clients, gran adopts new kittens).

Don't feel bad for writing this post just because it is 'all bad'; I find it more engaging than most of your posts (those with multi people I don't know doing things that I can not relate to in a long described chain of events). We are all different, and because of our different circumstances (age, place, belief, upbringing) I can't relate to most of what you say. But this, a loved older relative in pain, job loss, late pets - this I can relate to. Sending you all my thoughts and love here.

And out of curiosity (you don't have to answer, of course): how old is your gran? I got the impression that your mother is really young so she can't be THAT old, can she?

Kiwi Crocus: Ani D || Brain disconnected heart wired.cranky__crocus on October 8th, 2012 10:11 pm (UTC)
While I'm glad you can relate, just for my own sanity and happiness, I'll admit I'm hopeful that my life will turn back to the less engaging stuff soon! Thankfully that seems likely.

My grandmother will be 80 next year. (: I'm not sure what a "really young" mother would be, but she had me at 26, so I don't think too-too young? (She's just young-hearted, really.)
CaroRulescarorules on October 2nd, 2012 05:50 pm (UTC)
So sorry about the bad news about the cat, your gram and your dad's job. Rough day *hug*
Kiwi Crocus: Hair || Cotton-candy locks.cranky__crocus on October 8th, 2012 10:11 pm (UTC)
Thank you dear! ♥