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21 March 2012 @ 02:53 am
 
My last real-life update seems to be from the 8th. Oh. So, like, almost two weeks ago. My time seems to have sprouted wings... I'll see if I can split this stuff up by topic and day, or something.

Kidsitting: It's been going well. I've been there another two times and it's been great--running around, playing sports, drawing, sciencey things. They were shocked to find how many sports I played and can join them in, including tree-climbing (I use ‘sport’ loosely). 3rd grade twins. They can be a handful sometimes, like the lass today, but it's still great fun.

Name: My legal/birth name came up. I guess the mother and twins were looking at my UU congregation's picture yearbooks from when I was 9 and 15--the first has my legal name, the second has Kiwi. The lad was apparently curious and wondered why I was Kiwi and was something else before; his mother explained that I was a different person before. But that day, at the end of kidsitting (only when his mother showed up), he said, "[Birthname] was a great kidsitter today!" I was preparing a pitch for the lass and I froze; I felt gross all over. The mother noticed. When we all went inside, I ended up with something like an argument with an 8-year-old about why I was allowed to choose to be Kiwi, as he argued that I was only [birthname] or [nicknames of birthname]. Eventually I pulled the respect card: "My name is Kiwi because the name was given to me and I accepted it. When people respect me, they call me Kiwi, because being called Kiwi makes me happy and is kind, but being called [birthname] makes me sad." He got it. I also explained that it was okay to be one half or the other half of my birthname, but not both--for example, if my name were Rebecca (it isn't; that just came to mind as an example that worked) then both Reba and Becca would work. No combining, last half preferable. Since the event, I've been really contemplating how a name change would work--which name I would use (nickname for birthname, middle name, kiwi-as-first-or-middle, something else entirely). I'm hoping I'll come to the realisation soon. I'm getting sick of this conversation while having that down as my legal name; I feel that at least if I have a different name down and the conversation comes up, people will realise that it's serious enough to have me change it—or to really be able to say “my name is X and I don’t like to talk about it, thank you”. And if people don't respect my feelings after discovering that, then, well, eff 'em. If an 8-year-old can totally twig a conversation about respect, adults should be able to; no time for the ones that don't.

Temp Agency: I went to the agency and had the meeting. It was fine, really. The moment I was really proud of was when I was asked what my references would say about me; I thought for a few seconds of the old recommendation letters I got and two things jumped out: "Conscientious and hard-working." I said it with confidence and without hesitation. The guy seemed pleased; he said it was always a bad sign when people uhmed and ahhed and eventually said things like, “I suppose you’ll find out when you call them?” I was pleased to have a confident Kiwi moment. Unfortunately, they didn’t seem to listen to much else during the interview as far as what I was looking for: a “bridge” arrangement as I looked for my own job; part-time; shorter-term; not looking for a permanent job. They called while I was house-sitting with the exact opposite: far-ish away; full-time; business formal; indefinite time-frame with possibility of a permanent position (and sounding all thrilled as if it was exactly what I was looking for). It was also data entry (I did that during the summer of 2008; I cried every night before work and every morning before I had to start.) I had a mini panic-attack on the phone at the thought of that but I managed to remain mostly okay as I finished up the conversation, reminded him of what I was looking for, and ultimately requested he offer the job to someone else and that I would gladly accept the oddball 4-hour-filing-gigs he mentioned no one else wanting. I sobbed when I got off the phone; the dogs (Sir Princess Wagglebutt and Sir Princess Rolly-Poly Snuffelufagus, I call them fondly) came over and wagged and licked my tears until I was okay. I felt simultaneously terrible about and grateful for the privilege I have of turning such things down; I know that if I were in a worse spot with my life and family, I would have to take such an offer, no matter how shallow it made my breathing. (Then, it was also privilege that gave me the skills for such jobs: having a software-developing father growing up meant typing as I learned to spell. I have very fast fingers now; I’m at the top of the temp agency’s data entry job. It’s a pity I tend to hate it, unless it’s for a good cause.) The temp agency is a bit of a journey away, anyway, and I mainly signed up so that there’s proof for the loan companies that I’m signed on with an employment agency as I keep looking.

Housesitting: I house-sat. It was good. Had to lay down the law with Sir Princess Rolly-Poly (she has taken to wandering off during out-time), but other than that all was fine.

Horses: My grandmother helps out with horses three afternoons a week, giving hay and mucking the two stalls and paddock. She’s up in Maine now to take care of my uncle’s cats, so I’m doing her work. It’s pretty fun being active and around horses again; it makes me feel like a character in a novel. The horses aren’t always well-behaved (guess the owner didn’t train them out of head-butting for dominance) and I was a bit rusty on my horse behaviour the first two times, but I was getting the hang of it by the time I left. The old “nyeh” sound--all nasally, nasally, and unpleasant--always worked better for me than a simple “no” when they’ve done something I don’t like/are getting in my space. Also, funny that my ponytail counts as a real tail for them—when I flicked my head, they seemed to think it was an irritated tail-flick. Teehee.

Providence: I went down to Providence for a day with my friend Vee (venomebat). We met up at the park (where there was this perfect swing-chair for reading, and on a glorious day!) and walked Thayer Street a bit. Got tea at Tealuxe (I got bubble tea); we talked and talked and talked. We hadn’t seen each other in person for 6 years, but as I said, we’re on the same cul-de-sac of “Internet Street”. Had crepes (she went savoury; I went nutella-and-strawberries ‘cause, uh, you all know me?). My friend was working so we caught up a bit and she told me to go to the Rocky show that Friday, ‘cause she was playing Magenta. Vee and I hit Wickenden, too, and parked on a street near my adopted house. As we were walking up Wickenden I heard someone say “Kiwi?” I jumped and turned: there was Cabbit in her car. So we hurried over and met up; Vee and I went upstairs, where Cabbit told us about her bad news (death of a nigh-grandmother). I stayed longer than intended to distract Cabbit and keep her a bit cheered. She always tells me that a friend of mine is a friend of hers, anyway, and she and Vee hit it off; we talked for a long while. Earlier I had tried to explain Cabbit’s existence in my life to Vee and at last settled on, “She’s my platonic life partner.” I told Cabbit about that, too; she laughed and said it was true. Vee and I headed up Wickenden, hit the erotic boutique (run by an awesome butch lesbian, although a lovely man was working there and we got to know him after I purchased the [a, really] Lesbian Kama Sutra); we talked about sex and intimacy and romance and friendship and all the important things in life. Then we went to the Duck & Bunny (a snuggery) for finger sandwiches (split), tea (I got pomegranate-something that was lovely), and cupcakes (I got chocolate salted caramel and it was divine). I told her I was counting it as a platonic date so my friends would stop bugging me about dating; she laughed and agreed. We continued talking and talking until we at last parted ways. Then I ended up back upstairs at The Providence Household, watching a short video and hanging out with everyone. It was beautiful. I am so incredibly lucky to have these amazing people in my life.

Rocky Horror: I went to the Rocky Horror event, as instructed. Sat with Cabbit, met her new fling-like-thing (she’s partners with Z and now also with G, who occasionally gets with T, whom Cabbit is also now getting smoochy with to make what she excitedly squeed about as “somewhat of a triad”, which is adorable), and somewhat watched the show. Cabbit told me that she had passed my “platonic life partner” comment to G, and that ze had said it was incredibly true. I’ve only met G once, so that delighted me. Cabbit also said that if Molie (long story: friend I knew online pre-Cabbit, eventually made friends with Cabbit through Molie after they’d become best friends) lived here, we would have a platonic-life-partnership triad going on. Which is also delightful.


I think that about sums up my life this month. I’ve watched Upstairs, Downstairs (blatantly for the Alex Kingston episodes because how often does one of your fave actresses play a lesbian with a dark, clever sense of humour and use of the word ‘invert’ sarcastically?) and enjoyed it. Sad that her character seems to have disappeared now; I enjoyed it while she was there. Perhaps I’ll stay on. Thankfully I’ve never voiced any particular disdain for fans who follow actors/actresses around without watching before and/or after; equally thankful that I don’t tend to feel such disdain, and so don’t judge myself too harshly for it.

Oh! I forgot! Not quite done with the life things, because this is a matter of great importance: boots.

I’ve been searching for a pair of 14-eye Docs to replace my old (broken) ones for a while now, with no luck. Doc Marten sold production to China and Thailand a while back; it seems few have been as impressed with the boots since, but I really do like the way they look and feel in their original form. The similar boots I found were more expensive. The UK-made Docs are now $220, and I always promised I would not be One Of Those People who could spend >$200 on one pair of shoes. Certainly not online, anyway; my foot would have to fall in love in person for money of that sort to pass hands.

I thought I’d found exactly what I was looking for. Called the shops, asked if they were available, was told they were. I arrived to find the worker could apparently not count, for there were no 14-eye plain black boots to be found. I tried on a different pair to see if size 7 or 8 would be better, then had them order the pair I had wanted online (free shipping) after making sure that returning them would be easy-peasy. I was excited all weekend.

They arrived today. They look precisely the way I want, but as soon as I picked them up I cringed. They feel cheap and plasticky. I didn’t trust a Doc that had the emblem on the side (the non-UK-made ones do); now I know not to. My old floral ones were China-made, I think, but they didn’t have the side-emblem and the material was much nicer. I’m willing to go back to the dreaded zipper and wear only leggings/skinny jeans with my default boots, if I must. I couldn’t even bring myself to tie these ones all the way up. I had Mum take a look, too, and she agreed, so we decided to return them and go back to Plan EBay, in which I keep my eye on eBay for pairs I like, cheaper.



Not black and they have a zipper, but I liked them and they were cheaper so I went for it. I can be a sci-fi Kiwi! My first pair of Docs were silver (less shiny) and 8-eye; I wore them down ‘til the tread was gone, and I’m wearing them again today, just because grip isn’t as important in non-winter seasons (ice ice baby).

These were $83 total and the Docs we’re returning to Journeys was $125, so I figure that gives me $40-50 ‘extra’ (guilt-free) to put into finding a pair of black Docs (because I do want a pair of quintessential black boots), even if they’re not 14-eye. Anything above 8, probably.

Which hopefully means my quest for boots will be over soon. (Mind, my endless desire and appreciation will not cease; it is just that I will be boot-settled with my primary [default] boot-relationship and secondary boot-loves, and I will know joy down to my toes. I can admire from afar and occasionally seduce [or be seduced by] a pair from time to time, but without the urgency of a Quest.)

I also blame my love of these boots on my childhood love of Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century. Because, Zetus lapetus!, those boots are camp and shiny and 21st-century-as-seen-from-the-90s. I shall be Kiwi, Pixie of the 21st Century.

I don’t even. My life. Why ya’ll put up with me ‘nd my ridiculous life? I win so many awards for ridiculous.
 
 
 
minervas_eule: MHiU: hat patminervas_eule on March 21st, 2012 07:57 am (UTC)
I am much impressed that your "sitting-jobs" even include horses now.... you seem quite a "farm-hand", I know that this is hard work (so "sitting-job" does not cover it, but it neither does with an 8 year-old boy ;-) )
*Cheers* for your wonderful day in Providence :-)
Kiwi Crocus: HP || Sibyl || Hug everyone else.cranky__crocus on March 28th, 2012 05:32 am (UTC)
The horse-job is just until this Thursday since I've been doing it for my grandmother while she's been away and she's returning this week. It's been fun while it lasted, though! I've enjoyed the physical labour of it and of course keeping company with the two horses. (:
Shivshiv5468 on March 21st, 2012 08:07 am (UTC)
Zipped docs? well that's not right and proper, and I wants some because the reason I don't wear mine any more is the effort involved in lacing.
Kiwi Crocus: Rainbow || Drinks.cranky__crocus on March 28th, 2012 05:36 am (UTC)
I've always preferred non-zipped to zipped, but they do certainly make it easier to get on and off. I now have a pair of zipped and non-zipped, so I'm set! :D (Well, I have a few pairs of non-zipped, but I'm talking about the tall ones, hah.) Many of the 14-eye boots are zips, these days.
zee: cuddles *-*zofbadfaith on March 21st, 2012 12:47 pm (UTC)
First of all, I'd just like to point out how amazing your life is and the people who are in your life are; makes me feel like living in the US just so I could hang out with you all the time or until you got tired or me :P

So, this name thing is complicated. Actually, as far as as know everybody calls you Kiwi, so maybe it would be less complicated if you ever decided to go with the name change. And kids can be like that; I don't think my sister has asked me about your birthname or why your name is Kiwi (and kiwi is her favorite fruit, so you had her the moment I said "This is Kiwi" hahahah). I've always been a big fan of nicknames, mostly because I don't like my name so much; and I have nicknames of the nicknames-of-birthname variety and from the given-nickname variety. I quite like Zee (even though not many people call me that), but if I ever changed my name to Zero people would probably think that I was bonkers :B

So my point is that if you ever decide on the name change, I think Kiwi should be your first name. Because it's you.

P.S.: Those boots! I gotta get myself a Doc Martens next time I'm there, damn :D
Kiwi Crocus: Nature || Under magnolia skies.cranky__crocus on March 28th, 2012 05:42 am (UTC)
My life has amazing points, at least. :B And absolutely amazing people! You'll have to give my neck of the States a visit one of these days!

Even after a name change, I would still have everyone call me Kiwi--it wouldn't change things in daily life, just what my name would be down on paper. And hopefully make there be less fuzz about it all. I appreciate your sister's opinion on all of that! *Grins.* I've always loved nicknames.

Kiwi will always be me, and my name, even if it isn't down as my first legal name. :B My opinion tends to be that people should be called what they wish to be called, regardless of what is on birth certificates.

I love Docs! I get mine on eBay. By the end of the month I should have far too many pairs, and so I shall be overjoyed. :P
tt: Um... hello?twisted_twister on March 21st, 2012 06:58 pm (UTC)
Great update, on most accounts! You seem to hold your own with others, name, job and other matters, enjoy the company of animals and humans and generally have positive air about you - this is so much better than last month's upset!kiwi posts. I'm happy for you that you take care of yourself and make things work for you!!!

Lovely lovely silver Docs! I also had silver (8 holes) pair, and a tartan one, and the mandatory black one, but I guess at some point I decided I was too old for that and donated them; amyway, can't find them. But I'd gladly enjoy a high zipped pair now, silver or any other colour, if I had the money. Enjoy your new shoes, darling, for me, too!
Kiwi Crocus: Fantasy || Pegacorn.cranky__crocus on March 28th, 2012 05:51 am (UTC)
Definitely doing better than last month! (: Hoping I can keep it up--I have some very exciting things coming up in the next few months.

I still have my silver 8-holes; they were my first pair and I can't seem to give them up...my mother thinks I am very silly.

The sparkly silver Docs are here and I love them! Comfy and fun and shiny. My black pair arrived yesterday, so now I have a less eye-catching pair, too, which I like--they're also lace-up rather than zip. I'm a huge fan of boots. I saw a pair of tartan ones and admit that I was tempted...

I've loved boots my whole life, I just never actually set out to get any until university. I shall enjoy my shoes for you as well, then, until you are able to get a pair! (I don't know if this will help, but they sometimes go for reasonably cheap on ebay.co.uk/ebay.com, if you watch out for them and catch them by bidding during the last minute instead of using buy now. Way cheaper than trying to buy new boots from a store, which I did the first time and which worked out worse anyway!)
?elsceetaria on March 21st, 2012 07:21 pm (UTC)
There's an Alex Kingston ep of Upstairs, Downstairs? Really? I must find it. :)

Your temping and sitting jobs seem to to going nicely! Yay!!!

In my opinion, boots should either zip or lace up. I have passed over so many pairs on that principle. Those, however, seem particularly awesome, so an exception may be in store. Seriously, why is it so hard to find a good pair of black boots?

I obviously don't know your name story, but I am quite particular about my name as well. If you respect me, you call me by my full name. If we are good friends, you can can call me by x variant (or something random and made up), but under no circumstances am I to be called y variant. When I was a very small child, I knew a dog whose name was y, so in my head, when you call me y, you are calling me a dog. Sadly, y variant is the standard variant for my name, so I have had this discussion more than once. Seriously, though, if I introduce myself as full name, is it really that hard to call me by full name?

My sister who ended up with the long, unique name (a direct response to accidentally giving me one of the most popular names of not only my birth year but all those around it) has only started to allow people to shorten it this past year to one variation. Then again, I get away with calling her ridiculous terms of endearment such as banana nut muffin pumpkin pie chocolate chip cheesecake (there is no set rhythm to these I just add sweets until I feel like stopping :P), so who knows.

I'm not sure if I'm making sense today.
Kiwi Crocus: Ani D || Brain disconnected heart wired.cranky__crocus on March 28th, 2012 05:57 am (UTC)
There are a few Alex Kingston episodes of Upstairs, Downstairs and she has just come back in the last episode, too! I quite like her character now.

I don't mind boots that both lace and zip up, but I've always had the preference for just lacing in Docs. But with a zip, one often doesn't have to use the laces after they've been done up correctly... Thankfully I don't mind much with these silver ones, and I don't even mind that I tend to both zip and tie! (I love tying shoes.) I also found a pair of black lace-up boots that I'm wearing in now, so I'm enjoying that!

Names. Complex things. :B People in my life tend to end up with nicknames, although they're rarely or at least very loosely based on their names. Usually stories.
?elsceetaria on March 28th, 2012 06:34 am (UTC)
REALLY??? Okay, I will admit to living under a rock for awhile now. Adds those episodes to the epically long list of things I must watch, but they are near the top. :)

(Have I ever mentioned how much I love the work of Ms. Kingston? No? Really? Well, okay, I do. There is a very real possibility that I even own a copy of Moll Flanders with her as the title role. I am in fact odd like that [although I'm not sure if it still plays or not]).

Yay for black lace up boots!!!

Names really are quite complicated.

I should probably be asleep and make no guarantees that anything in this comment makes sense.
Kiwi Crocus: Women || Maggie Smith || ♥cranky__crocus on March 28th, 2012 06:55 am (UTC)
I don't think that's odd at all. I have actresses that I fangirl to the point of wanting to own everything they've ever been in, even the bad stuff (and pretty much do with Mary McDonnell, I think). I'd like to with Alex Kingston.

You know, you're forever telling me how little sense your comments make, but they always make sense to me.

And I'm almost always awake just as late responding to them. :B So perhaps next time you won't have to worry about apologising for supposed lack of sense! :P