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26 October 2011 @ 05:52 pm
 
I am missing England dreadfully. It didn't hit me until I started looking up pubs/evening places to go, couldn't find any, asked my father (who would know what I wanted upon asking after a 'pub-like-place') to no avail ("haven't found any in the area") and came back to my room. Then I just crumbled.

I miss English pubs--there were so many kinds, so many places I could just walk to in the evening! Just walk up to the bar, order myself a drink and then bugger off once I had it; they didn't care where I sat or how long I stayed, provided I left at closing without issue. There were real places to sit that weren't bar-stools and I could read/write notes without being too bothered, while still enjoying the atmosphere. And once I'd been around enough, servers got to know me by look and name (it does help, a touch, that my look is rather unique and my name is hard to forget).

The main place I went wasn't even called a pub, it was "Global Cafe and Bar", but it had the same feel. It was wonderful.

And now I'm here. When I research "pub" here it hardly means anything more than restaurant-with-a-bar, where one goes in and sits at a barstool all night with drinks or sits down, orders food and drink, consumes them and then is expected to leave. Where one socialises with those one has arrived with--and where if one comes alone, it is strange. But bars don't work either, for the ones I've seen are not 'atmospheric' in the way I'd like and don't seem set to seat comfortably. "Tavern" seemed like just another restaurant.

When I ask my friends, "Want to go check out a pub with me?" I get very non-committal answers, with a feeling of 'why do that?' I guess I shouldn't expect anything else; I haven't before now, not in America, but then I haven't been in America in October--the end of October!--in three years. I've been in a place where I'll have a housemate yelling up the stairs for me, "Kiwi, coming to the pub?!" or a text from a friend, "Headed to the pub--come meet me!" or someone entering my room only to drag me out of it--homework and all--to head straight to the pub.

But I guess this is living in Suburban America. I'm not in Reading any more--not in an offshoot of London. I'd just forgotten.

I haven't got a local pub. My friends--the few I even have around here--don't go to pubs. Don't go anywhere in the evenings save out to eat, to each other's houses or clubbing.

I guess I'll just stay in my room, turn the faerie lights on and note-take on my reading in here. I'll imagine the friendly chatter and the laughter and the pub music.

*Bites lip.* I miss England. I'm lonely, and I can't find anywhere to go be alone amongst strangers--which always helped that.
 
 
Current Mood: lonelyLonely.
 
 
 
albalark: Hobbes Hugalbalark on October 26th, 2011 09:58 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry, Hon - pubs are indeed wonderful places. The closest we have around here are the local coffee houses, but that's a very different atmosphere (and no alcohol :-P).

Need a chat? I'm around for awhile. Just PM me.
Kiwi Crocus: Ani D || Distance a silhouette like minecranky__crocus on October 26th, 2011 10:03 pm (UTC)
I think the 'I need a pub - there are no pubs - breakdown' occurrence was just my loneliness' way of saying "HELLO STOP IGNORING ME I'M HERE AND PRETENDING I'M NOT DOESN'T HELP". So I felt it, and I searched for a solution, and it didn't work so I just feel it more... I'm sure living in a city would be different, but at the moment I'm not. I could walk as far as my hip could take me and I'd just find myself walking into woods.

Local coffee houses are what my father suggested, too--that's where he goes. He just tends to get the 'I need to leave the house' feeling in the afternoon, whereas I get it in the evening. I'm not sure how long the coffee houses around here stay open. (Though I must say I wouldn't personally miss the alcohol. (; )

I'm not sure what I need--but I thank you for the comment! I'm afraid I'm a dreadful bore and downer at the moment; I just had to let it out somewhere. It's silly of me to feel ashamed for missing England since everyone expects it after so much time spent there, but almost because of that I don't want to go shouting it anywhere--very silly. But I thought I'd at least give it a whisper here.

Thank you again for the comment. (:
zee: cuddles *-*zofbadfaith on October 26th, 2011 10:34 pm (UTC)
Oh, Kiwi *hugs*

You know, I've never been to a pub; it's one of the few drinking places that I know I have to go if I ever happen to be up there and outta here. (We do have pubs here, apparently; but they're too expensive and I'm not sure if they're anything like the British ones).

Well, I'm home early today :) so if you need someone to talk, I'm around, just lemme know! <3
redbeargrlredbeargrl on October 26th, 2011 10:36 pm (UTC)
I hear your pain. Pubs are the one thing I miss most about the UK. There's nothing like a nice friendly Local to ease you through the end of the day. The closest American equivalent to a pub is the Tavern unless you want to go the Pseudo British route at the British Beer Company. I think the closest one to you is in Walpole.

Either way, it's never the same over here as it was over there, and more's the pity. I miss them terribly. The biggest problem with American Taverns, Bars and Pubs is that they're full of drunk American guys who don't understand the term "bugger off." Not my cup of tea to be sure.
Kiwi Crocuscranky__crocus on December 3rd, 2011 03:33 am (UTC)
Completely agreed. It seems even if I find the right kind of place, the atmosphere is wrong because pubs aren't popular enough that there are cheap chain ones where students and young people hang out. It tends to be all drunk American guys who can't believe a woman might not be interested. Or that she might be eyeing up a wife here or there. *Innocent bystander whistle.*
kellychamblisskellychambliss on October 26th, 2011 10:45 pm (UTC)
I do know that pub feeling -- the longest I have ever been in the UK at one stretch is three weeks, but even then, I found a sort of "local" where I could sit and read/write for a long time without being thought odd.

I think the closest place in the US is a coffee shop -- an independent one, if you can find one, but if not, a Starbucks or a Caribou with do the trick. Some independent ones serve wine and liqueurs, too. You can usually sit in them for hours, nursing one cup of something (tea, coffee, smoothie, whatever) for as long as you want. I find the atmosphere very similar to a pub, just without the beer. (I know that for some people, "no beer" would be a deal-breaker, but I don't like beer, so it never matters to me.) When I go home to visit, my BFF and I are capable of sitting in the Starbucks near her house (there's no other coffee shop nearby) for four hours at a stretch. And I've been known to spend eight hours at my "local" writing fanfic. Eventually people start to know you. There's a really nice coffee/wine bar in the next town over, and I've been known to sit there for hours, too; they have tables and couches both. So try googling "wine bar," too.

Sorry you're feeling lonely, sweetie!
Kiwi Crocuscranky__crocus on December 3rd, 2011 03:39 am (UTC)
Thank you! I think I'm going to try the cafes; I have always enjoyed them and found them to have a similar atmosphere. The only problem is that I'm a night person - I think that's fairly obvious by now - so a pub worked well because they were open at night. My friends and I would occasionally leave the house at 9pm just to go and hang out at a pub and treat it like a cafe (I hardly ever buy alcohol when I go out). My favourite cafe was a cafe-bar combination, which worked perfectly for me because on the rare occasions of my being awake in the morning (*cough*9amlecture*cough*) I could go in and work (*cough*procrastinateandreadfic*cough*). But I could also head into the cafe in the late afternoon/evening and watch it turn into a laid-back evening bar. Perfection.

But I guess unless I start up a day-into-night business with drinks, socialisation and books I'll have to check out coffee shops and the like. It's a pity I have no mind for business.

Thanks for the comment!
Venturous1: cuppaventurous1 on October 26th, 2011 11:14 pm (UTC)
what part of the 'burbs are you sentenced to stuck in? Maybe we can find you a good hangout place!
Kiwi Crocuscranky__crocus on December 3rd, 2011 03:40 am (UTC)
I am in the 'burbs about a half hour or so from Providence, an hour or so from Boston. I'm near the town of Franklin. I've at least found an awesome used and antique bookstore to hang out in when I'm out of the house earlier in the day!
Shivshiv5468 on October 26th, 2011 11:55 pm (UTC)
A good pub is a nice place, and I've never found one in the US that does the same thing.

Nods.

woldy: wishwoldy on October 27th, 2011 01:43 am (UTC)
I'm lucky that I've ended up in a bit of America that has a good local pub. I went there for brunch with some other faculty on Sunday, & we've been known to work and drink in the garden. Even so, I know what you mean about missing pubs - I had that problem all the time I lived in Vancouver.

And even more so about missing England. I cling to emails from friends and the Today program podcast as my lifelines to the mother country - even though when I'm there I complain about all sorts of things (0f course I do, I'm English, we're complainers about minutiae). I just listened to the podcast I recorded and was amazed by my own English accent - it seems like forever since I've used it!

Anyway, enough wibbling from me. I'll pretend that I'm well enough to drink, and that you're in town, and you can pull up a seat in our local pub, choose something from the excellent beer list, and read amidst the bustle.
woldywoldy on October 27th, 2011 01:45 am (UTC)
Also, I meant to say but forgot due to epic brain fuzz: *huge hug*
Kiwi Crocuscranky__crocus on December 3rd, 2011 03:43 am (UTC)
Ah, yes, England, where there is always something to complain about, if only that there seems to be nothing about which to complain and how very distressing and dreadfully boring that is. I miss it! *Grins.* Queuing and whinging, the country sports.

That sounds wonderful! Thank you! :D Also, *huge hug back.*
minervas_eule: s & s sistersminervas_eule on October 27th, 2011 08:04 am (UTC)
Oh Kiwi - going from a University-town in a metropolitan area to "someplace rural" in the US really must be so hard..... I knew since forever that I always want to live "in touch" with a uni-town and I managed that thankfully. It still is such a great feeling to stroll among the students and the places they hang out, be it daytime or in the evening... such a sense of opportunities and being alive. Even at 50 I need this about once a months ;-)), so I can imagine how hard it must be for you *hugs*.
Kiwi Crocuscranky__crocus on December 3rd, 2011 03:44 am (UTC)
Picturing you doing what you've described puts me more at ease. I can very much see myself doing the same. I'll have to head down to Providence (one of the closest uni-cities) and do that soon. Thank you! ♥ *Hugs back.*
CaroRulescarorules on October 27th, 2011 02:40 pm (UTC)
Aww there have got to be some pubs around.. I know we have a few here and it's not England!
?elsceetaria on October 27th, 2011 04:25 pm (UTC)
::hugs::