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20 March 2011 @ 03:03 am
 
Let's see if I can get my brain working long and strong enough to write an entry. (Given I just had to fix the typo 'brian,' I'm thinking that's half an impossibility...)

[+] I survived Thursday. Went to 'lecture' with Jojobird and met Claire there; we ditched during break again because we were bored out of our minds. (Student presentations - we were told to go both weeks but it was clear the only people there were those presenting, and we presented last week.) At least before leaving I wrote out my extenuating circumstances form and gave it in; Lindsey-in-the-student-office thinks my requests sound reasonable. I cried giving in the form and in many ways I've never felt so pathetic. Jojo told me to "man up" (I think she was trying to use humour to kick me out of it), but I was unstable enough that that just made it worse. I'm trying not to be a ticking time bomb.

[+] Survived Friday. Jojobird, Emma (groupmate) and I arrived early and there were leftover biscuits from some even the day before, so we nibbled those. Emma and I doodled on the whiteboard. We practised a bit and then presented to Simon and Duncan (the lecturers). It wasn't fantastic, but it wasn't terrible; the middle-ground is fine to my university-apathetic brain right now. Jojo told me that to make sure I worked later on, I would have to think of her giving me a Disappointed Face; I asked her "can I imagine you as a teacher?" and she said of course...provided she was sexy. Oh, my mind. Worked efficiently, took an hour-long break, worked again until my 6pm deadline. Wasn't able to send along a full draft to Nick (and thus I feel like a mega failure) but it was a lot closer. I also managed to work on my dissertation for 6 hours without crying or having to stop and monitor my breathing! The small things, eh? After that took a break to start my Wildlife in the Faming Environment report and work on my Rowe application, which I'm sending off by tomorrow.

[-] Today I have felt yucky and nervous. It was a beautiful day that I didn't appreciate. However, I did take a shower with the new shower head and there's a mist setting that sounds like rain and makes me feel as though I'm receiving back rubs from a colony of faeries. Worked a lot but still am only 25% through my citations to analyse (20/80). But I'm getting faster at it so hopefully that's something. And I'll definitely have a lot more to talk about in my results and discussion sections than I already have, so that's good. I think I can really do this. Maybe. But hey, there's a little hope there.

[-] I mostly missed the Supermoon, but did finally stand up out of my window to see it. Wish I had been more able to enjoy it.

[-] I really miss cuddles. I'm reclining on my little sofa here (got the double duvet cover with gold stars) with my sharks (one big blue one, one giant pink one) and my pillows. I want nothing more than for someone to come and flop on me. Mum's done it my whole life, she just flops down on me and squishes me into whatever surface I'm on. I love it. Cassia does it when I'm at her house and it makes me smile, because I never told her I love it, she just started doing it.

[-] I miss animals. I wish there was a rent-a-dog service or something. Pirate's got the gerbils, but they're not quite the same... and all I do with the fish is make faces at them. I'd go for a ferret, cat, chinch, hell even a degu, just anything... So I'm going to sit here and continue petting my own head. Yes, I am that desperate. (And hey - it's nice to have my head pet, even if it's just by me!)

[-] I'm still in shock that I've finished my last presentation of university and my last piece of group work. I've also had my last official lecture. Next week I end on a pop quiz - how stupid! A pop quiz in English university! (Okay, not fully pop quiz since I know when it is, but I classify a pop quiz as not knowing the timing and/or not knowing what will be on it.) Apparently it's something we can't revise for. Super duper excited, clearly. Can't believe this will really be ending. I am going to MAKE myself give Nick a full draft of my dissertation on Tuesday evening, I have one 1500-word-or-so report due in on Friday, and then I've just got exams... and sure they're going to be killer exams, but it'll just be them left in my path. So weird.

[?] One of the femmeslash-land-or-whatever-porn-prompt-thingy-doosit prompts was "Firefly, Inara/Kaylee, kiwi" and I WTFed all over the place because I read it as Inara/Kaylee/kiwi and got super confused. Then I just giggled.

[*] I think I'm putting up a front right now, but I have to admit that I am incredibly frightened.

[♥] I think I am too exhausted for more work right now. I'll just set an alarm (away from my bed, and for a good amount of time) and go to sleep. I'll work faster tomorrow.


Kiwi

"The bluebird sings a lullaby; the firefly gives a light; the twinkling stars are candles bright; sleep, Faeries all, Good Night."
[Elizabeth T. Dillingham; "A Faery Song"]
 
 
Current Mood: intimidatedIntimidated.
 
 
 
lash_laruelash_larue on March 20th, 2011 03:23 am (UTC)
I'd cling to Inara/Kaylee/Kiwi if I were you.

And I would die smiling. After that, what could matter?

You'll make it. Don't sweat the little stuff. (It's ALL little stuff.)

L
Kiwi Crocus: FF || Kaylee || No power in the verse.cranky__crocus on April 3rd, 2011 08:06 am (UTC)
Well, I suppose I have been looking for prompts to write... But I swear something about that would ring the self-insert Mary-Sue bell... :Þ Plus it'd probably end in a tea ceremony, strawberries, silly hats and a pillowfight, instead of anything actually scandalous!
therealsnape: Hooch Flygirltherealsnape on March 20th, 2011 08:56 am (UTC)
You'll be doing just fine. And fancy having some hot pr0n written for you! In a matter of speaking, but still.

Have a virtual cuddle. (Hope you're on a soft surface when reading.)
Kiwi Crocus: Kiwi || A rose for you.cranky__crocus on April 3rd, 2011 08:07 am (UTC)
Thank you for the soft-surface virtual cuddle. (: It meant the world to me when I read it, even though I didn't have the time to get back to it right away!
albalark: All Sorts of Lovelyalbalark on March 20th, 2011 04:36 pm (UTC)
Wish you could have been with us on Thursday. :-) We'd have worn you out right well and you've had no time to be bored.

You probably make more progress than you think you do - if you didn't, I'm sure you would have heard about it from Nick. I've said it before, but it bears repeating - you are NOT a failure. You are just fine, and everything will work out all right. Promise. :-)

Virtual cuddles aren't the same, but consider this as one. ::hugs:: Miss M and I snuggle a lot, especially when we are reading, and maybe someday, you can come and join us.

It's all right to be scared about big transitions - it's nuts not be. But whenever fear starts to be overwhelming, think about all the good things that the future holds and remind yourself that you are one step closer to those things every day. ::hugs you again::

Kiwi Crocus: Text || Beautiful things like you.cranky__crocus on April 3rd, 2011 08:11 am (UTC)
I like being worn out! Boredom is something I'm very much not accustomed to (normally my mind/imagination just take over), so when I get to the point of actual boredom it's usually bad!

Thank you for the words of wisdom (and reminder)! And especially for the virtual cuddles. Ah, the idea of snuggling up to read sounds lovely. I used to do that with my family sometimes, especially my mother. If my father was in the room Mum would just tease him for highlighting his books. :B I would love to come join you in your reading and snuggles!

I am remembering that about transitions. Thank you!
CaroRulescarorules on March 20th, 2011 05:00 pm (UTC)
New shower head :) YAY!

101mutts: brown dog101mutts on March 21st, 2011 02:00 am (UTC)
Wow, awesome that it's ending so soon. Yay! Last official lecture and group project are good mile stones.

Wish I could come over there and snuggle. Dog rental does really exist, btw. I remember reading about animal rights organizations being unhappy about it.

I really hope you get in for Rowe. That would be an amazing reward for this all.
gerristgerrist on March 21st, 2011 11:53 am (UTC)
Shaya's comments woke me up to hearing what you are saying Kiwi - the last official lecture has been heard? I know the last term is mostly exams, but I thought there were a few lectures thrown in ... I still haven't got this english system down. But I see on the uni website that Spring Term = Monday 17 January to Friday 25 March" and today is March 21st!! The first day of SPRING.

I realize this term is NOT OVER for you until you finish the dissertation, which may (or may not?) be March 30th? But it will certainly be huge! And then its all studying and preparing for exams? Dad keeps talking about how he had access to previous years' exam papers and he studied those. Do you have access to them as well?

Gotta go to work now. Was so tired after dancing at FUSF and working a long day yesterday that I came home and CRASHED from 6p.m. to 7a.m. (with a mini "up" break). Another long day today, but only 4 more medium/short days till vacation. Yeah! If you hand in your dissertation early I'll throw you on a plane and bring you to Disney as a gift!! (If you want) XO Mom
Kiwi Crocus: Text || Be alright.cranky__crocus on April 2nd, 2011 11:47 pm (UTC)
Last lecture has definitely be heard, before even the last week of term. I think it may have been the third-to-last Friday of term, given that most of the other modules had student presentations during the final weeks and/or didn't meet in Week 10 so we all could finish our presentations.

Sometimes we have revision sessions in the summer term, but they're not really lectures since they're more informal. Mostly we go into 'class' with questions and ask them, then discuss it as a group with the lecturer. I think I've only had one revision session that really felt like a 'lecture' - and that was possibly out of a total of three revision sessions, which may have all been in year 1. Mostly we're on our own for exams.

I have access to previous exam papers. (: It's what we base our revision on, mostly.
Cassia: feetjoyitude on April 10th, 2011 12:45 am (UTC)
"Cassia does it when I'm at her house and it makes me smile, because I never told her I love it, she just started doing it."

C- for myself for just seeing this entry, but A+ to myself for being a unknowing desire-filling flopmonster. Now that I know you love it, I'll do it even more! :D
Kiwi Crocus: Rainbow || Ecstatic Elmo.cranky__crocus on May 22nd, 2011 11:10 pm (UTC)
"Desire-filling flopmoster" may be one of the best phrases ever invented.

I'm excited for it happening more often! :D

Three months is so short, comparatively speaking. asldkflaskjdf. And while I know much of late August/September will be spent with my family (before my brother leaves for England again), I can't wait. Plus I will have to plan ways for my brother to get to know you all more. He's an odd fellow, but I love him. :P