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09 March 2011 @ 06:27 pm
 
I'm in the library analysing citation. Outside the sky is growing dark and the clouds are moving in. I can see the trees dark outside the window (I always sit on the window side of the building, even if it means waiting a while.)

Mainly what caught my attention is the line of 'airplane cloud,' as I used to consider them as a child, that looks like a vertical line of sunset just beside my monitor. It caught my breath for a moment, though I'm not entirely sure why.

I can't believe that soon enough - sleep-prolonged blink of an eye, really, in a lifetime - I'll be heading home on my own vertical sunset. (I remember Gregegg once asked the others in my Providence-American household, "Isn't there some rainbow she can slide down to get to us?!" or something of that sort.)

Four months. Four-and-some months, so a bit more than the passing of a season. Then I won't be an active institutional student, just a Student of the Universe (though I'll still be paying like an institutional student, of course *groan*). Wow.

I'm getting ahead of myself, of course, given that it's 6.20pm on a day-before-deadline day of university amidst the real deadline weeks. Still, nice to remember. It'll be bittersweet to say goodbye.


Kiwi

"No longer forward nor behind I look in hope and fear; but grateful take the good I find, the best of now and here."
[John G. Whittier]
 
 
Current Mood: soreSurreal.
 
 
 
Kiwi Crocus: Readwrite || asdfghjkl;cranky__crocus on March 10th, 2011 12:31 am (UTC)
aslkdjfklasdjf aklsdjf KIWI!! Why did you post something semi-positive, you fool?

You've cursed us. Cuuuursed. Mucked up, all of it, so much to do, so behind, so disappointed, so wrong and BLECH! *Shakes fist.* Whyyy have you forsaken us with cursing our luck?!

I won't bother anyone else with all this flail, so I am going to bother you.

*Bother bother bother BOTHER B O T H E R!*

Edited at 2011-03-10 12:32 am (UTC)
Kiwi Crocus: Rainbow || Paint the flowers me.cranky__crocus on March 10th, 2011 12:34 am (UTC)
Oh, Kiwi. Do go and be a dear - finish up your work, won't you?

*Hugs.*

And one for the road: *hugs.* You can do this. I have every faith in you. Do the best you can, even if it isn't finished or close to done or anything near what you intended, and you'll have done all you could.

Okay? Keep calm. Misty eyes are fine, panicked breaths are not. I'm here if you need me: just give your temple a few taps and think of rainbow unicorns and ukuleles; I'll be right around the corner.
Kiwi Crocus: Green || Limey.cranky__crocus on March 10th, 2011 01:19 am (UTC)
Fine. I added a sentence which, I suppose, is my thesis - so that's big. And moved stuff around. And I'm analysing. I really have to pee but no no no, I am too dedicated to my work! Are you happy now?

(I so deserve 10 minutes of Glee as a break in a bit. There's no stopping me.)

((In case you wondered - because you always do - the icon is because I'm feeling sour.))
Kiwi Crocus: Rainbow || The cake is a lie.cranky__crocus on March 10th, 2011 01:24 am (UTC)
Then mine is because I am feeling sweet - though I'm tempted to use the icy lips for a nice 'chill out.' Glee sounds like a perfect chill out in a bit.

Progress! You're doing it! But don't let your dissertation run your bladder; that can get you into all sorts of trouble.

The river she is flowin', flowin' and growin'...
Go on, I know you know it. Relax and remember. I'll sing it to you. ♥
albalarkalbalark on March 10th, 2011 01:17 am (UTC)
Should I be worried about multiple personalities or demonic possession here? ::g::

Deep breath . . . say it with me now . . . dissertation will be fiiiiiine. Think calming, floating on a cloud thoughts. There you go. Feeling better now? ::hugs::
Kiwi Crocus: Action || Free hug.cranky__crocus on March 10th, 2011 01:27 am (UTC)
Oh hello there! I didn't see you approach. (: No, I won't be too worried; I'm just being my own life coach. It's sort of like hearing myself speak out loud, you know? Only somehow it's more comforting to do it on livejournal, as ridiculous as that may sound. It's easier to remember that there is some real calming sanity up there in my brain somewhere, even if she's hard to see, if I let her take over my fingers and type out everything I need to hear.

Which means that yes, I may be crazy, but no, shouldn't be anything to worry about. :D

Deep breathing! I'm following your lead! *Breathes deeply.* Dissertation will be fiiiiine. (I do the 'fine' on the exhale, right? C: )

Calm... I'm floating on a cloud... oh, look, a sun shower and a rainbow! I see a lark near a rose bush! This is nice. (:

I'm feeling better now. *Hugs.*